


If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home

by equallydestructive



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Romance, Fluff, M/M, So much fluff your teeth will ache, adventurer!zayn, lumberjack!liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/equallydestructive/pseuds/equallydestructive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>28 year old divorcee Liam Payne has made a living out in the wilderness along with his trustee golden retriever, Sasha. It is only when he makes a shocking discovery that his life takes a complete 180 degree turn.</p><p>Or: Lumberjack!Liam finds Zayn buried underneath a foot of snow, nearly frozen to death. Fluff, among other things, follows soon after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

The fire needed more wood.

That was the first thing that came to Liam’s mind the second he glanced at the hearth, watching as the dying embers winked out one by one. He arched his back, his joints popping as he stretched his arms up above him.

“C’mon, Sasha,” he called out to his golden retriever, and the corner of his mouth perked up as she came scampering out of the bedroom, bounding over to Liam’s side. “You ready to go?” he asked and she wagged her tail in response. 

He looked outside and gnawed at his bottom lip, noting how it was impossible to see any farther than the light of his cabin shining out of his window. A shiver raced up his spine at the thought of going out into the middle of a violent winter storm, but he was beginning to see his breath puff out in front him. He inhaled sharply through his nose, knowing that he was going to have to brave the storm anyway.

Grabbing the handle of the axe that was settled against the wall next to the door, he grasped at the doorknob and turned it, bracing himself for the mind-numbing cold of the wind that was sure to greet him. Sure enough, the wind came rushing at him as soon as he opened the door, and it threw him off balance. He grabbed the edge of his hat with a gloved hand and pulled it further down his head, covering the entirety of his ears. 

One step outside had Liam’s boot sinking down at least a foot and he cursed as the chill began to seep into his heavy clothing, then into his skin. It was ridiculous – he had lived out in this cabin, in the middle of the woods, for over four years, but he still couldn’t get over the way that the snow and the cold just seemed to dominate everything. 

He chanced a look at Sasha; she had flattened her ears tightly against her skull and her thick fur was already collecting the snowflakes that were relentlessly falling from the darkened sky. Liam felt a twinge of worry in his chest, but he didn’t need to worry for her. She’d been through worse, including a time when she and Liam had to trek across the woods in sub-zero temperatures, just to get back to the cabin from when they had gone to the market. The fact that the cabin was a warm, dry place was their only incentive for making it back.

He continued onward, his eyes streaming from the stinging wind. With his free hand, he reached behind him and wrapped his fingers around the flashlight that was in his belt and brought it back in front of him, turning it on. He groaned internally as the light did absolutely nothing except illuminate the white flakes falling, so he tucked it back in his belt, heading straight for the nearest tree. 

Regardless of the fact that his ski mask covered his entire face, the damnable snow was still making its way into the inside of the mask, the biting cold making his teeth chatter together and his bones ache for the semi-warmth of his home. 

Gripping the shaft of his axe with both hands, he swung it into the wood, again and again. The rhythmic sound of the axe cutting into the tree echoed in the surrounding air and then the creak of the tree as it began to splinter joined in. The sweat that was beginning to gather from his labour froze as soon as it came into contact with the gusts and he was once again questioning why exactly he had chosen to live out in the fucking woods in the middle of nowhere.

Despite his disgruntlement, it was actually his choice to live in the cabin. At the young age of 28, he had already been divorced once, five years before. It was a mutual break-up, though his ex-wife, Sophia, did end up kicking him out of her place because she couldn’t “handle him being there”, or whatever _that_ meant. He knew that the cause of his removal from the household was from the lack of… participation on his part. Unfortunately for her, he had no desire to have any kind of sexual relations with her, so after only ten months of marriage, she filed for divorce, citing the reasoning as being “not compatible”.

It still kind of hurt in a way, even when there were no feelings between them; at least, not from his end. Arranged marriages tended to do that.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he was finally able to chop all the way through the trunk and he watched as it toppled over to where it landed with a _poof_ on the snow-covered ground. He shoved his axe into his belt and grasped the end of the trunk, dragging it towards his cabin, deciding to hack the pieces where it was driest.

A soft _woof_ from Sasha signalled that she had come back to his side; Liam was so concentrated on his work that he didn’t even bother to wonder where she had gone. He dropped the wood right near his door and leaned against it, taking in icy gulps of air as he steadied his breathing. Sasha pushed her muzzle into Liam’s thigh and he bent down, scratching behind her ears, earning him a lick on his nose. He laughed quietly and patted her on the head before turning his attention back to the task at hand – cutting the trunk into logs.

With little effort, he managed to prop the trunk up on a tree stump and he grabbed for his axe again, quickly slicing off the smaller branches of the tree and throwing them to the side for him to take care of later. He turned back to the now bare trunk and began to hack at it. Once he had eleven logs stacked in front of him, he gathered them in his arms and opened the door, dumping them rather unceremoniously in the corner of the room to dry. He crossed the living room to fall into his usual chair, moaning gratefully as the cushion sank under his weight. He closed his eyes, settling in for a nap while the logs dried, but he was interrupted by a wet nose nudging insistently at his hand. 

“Sasha, I’m trying to sleep,” he grumbled. A soft whine from the dog had his eyebrows furrowing, and then a bark had his eyes snapping open. He sat up quickly, alarm bells going off in his brain. Sasha never barked, and when she did – it was never good. “What’s wrong, girl?” 

Sasha whined again and ran to the door, looking back as if waiting for him. He slipped his gloves back on and opened the door; this time the wind didn’t seem nearly as intimidating as he walked quickly through the snow, trailing behind her. She glanced back every so often to make sure that he was following and then she kept going, nose close to the ground.

Another short bark from the golden retriever had Liam racing towards her and he stopped next to her. _I can’t fucking see anything,_ Liam thought, and then Sasha was sniffing at the ground, her fur rising, and another firm whine rang in Liam’s ears. She scratched at the ground and looked up at Liam. He stooped down and brushed away the snow, not knowing exactly what he would find.

His heart stopped in his chest as a flash of dark hair came into view. “Holy shit,” Liam whispered, his voice quavering as he began to shovel the snow away as quickly as possible.

A body.

He didn’t know whether to be repulsed by what was probably a corpse, or completely fascinated by what he had found. He stuck his hands underneath the body and gently flipped it, gasping as the body’s face came into view. The man’s lips were blue, his eyelids had spindly veins running across them, and his cheeks were drained of colour. 

Liam took his glove off and pressed his index and middle fingers to where the pulse would usually beat and he felt his body physically deflate as he came away with no pulse.

“Sasha, he’s dead,” he said, watching as Sasha ducked her head down to nose at the dead man’s neck. She looked back up him as if he wanted her to try again and he shook his head, but pressed his fingers against the man’s throat again, this time harder than before. His eyes widened at the extremely weak, but still there, pulse jumping underneath his fingertips. 

Liam brought a hand underneath the man’s back and the other underneath his knees and hoisted him up, racing as quickly as he could back to the warmth of the cabin, Sasha right beside him. The man’s head lolled around as Liam ran and Liam shifted his hand up to cradle the back of his neck. 

He stepped into the cabin and closed the door behind him, flicking on the light with his hip, and gently laid the man out on the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace. Liam’s heart thundered in his throat as he grabbed a few of the logs and threw them onto the hearth, silently praying that they were dry enough for the fire to catch. 

After a few moments of bated breath, the wood began to crackle as the fire roared to life. He quickly got to work of ridding the man of his drenched clothes and he grimaced at how thin his clothing was. 

“Who in their right mind would go out in the middle of a storm in nothing but a spring jacket and jeans?” he muttered, chucking the soaked articles of clothing aside. Once the man was bare, Liam ran into his room and grabbed his duvet, racing back to where Sasha had laid down next to the man, her head on her paws. He wrapped the man in the comforter and moved him closer to the fire. 

He got up on his feet and started to make his way to the bathroom, looking to fill the bathtub up with hot water, but a memory recalling his time in class many years ago prevented him from going any further. _That’s right, people that have been in the cold for a long, long time need to be heated up gradually, and not with water._ He walked back to where the man was lying, eerily still, and sat down next to him, bringing his legs in so he could set his chin on top of his knees.

Now all Liam could do was wait. He stared hard into the hearth, absently petting Sasha, mind running wild. The man had hypothermia - that was obvious. How severe it was, though, could not be determined, although just by the way that the man’s whole body was drained of heat and his barely-there pulse, it was probably pretty bad.

The sound of teeth chattering had Liam’s head whipping to the man in question and he moved closer, watching as his eyes moved underneath his eyelids. 

A visible shudder ran through the man’s body and it was clear that he had gotten through the worst of the hypothermia.

“S-so c-cold.” Liam would not have heard the words uttered if he had not been paying close attention to the man. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing. Liam was certain that the man was still unconscious, but-

The man’s eyes blinked open, automatically landing on Liam’s shocked face. His pupils were dilated, completely swallowing up his irises. He continued to stare into Liam’s eyes, as if he was looking into his soul, though Liam wasn’t sure if he was actually seeing anything. 

“F-fucking cold,” he mumbled and then his eyes were fluttering close again, drifting back into sleep. Liam smiled as the colour began to return to the man’s cheeks and his lips even looked less blue. Liam dragged his fingertips along the man’s jaw, noting that it was not nearly as cold to the touch as before.

The adrenaline rush was wearing off and he soon felt his body begin to sag from exhaustion, his eyes feeling heavy. He pressed his fingers to the man’s pulse and he felt the satisfying _thump_ of his heart working steady, though it was beating a little slower than Liam would have preferred. Either way, it was better than nothing. He padded to his bedroom and rummaged through his closet for an extra comforter. Upon finding it, he walked back to the living room and laid down next to the man on the floor. 

He stared at the man, contemplating on whether or not to cover him with another duvet, or just share his body heat. He settled for the latter, so he shrugged and shoved the comforter underneath him and the man. He curled himself along the length of the man’s body and flung an arm around him, tucking his hand underneath the man’s stomach to secure him into place. Even though the man had just gone through a bout of severe hypothermia, and probably still was, he was warm enough for Liam to fall into a slumber in mere minutes.


	2. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn needs help getting around and he makes it obvious that he doesn't like it.

The heady aroma of smoke - not cigarette smoke, but bonfire smoke - was permeating Zayn’s senses and it seemed to only grow stronger as he came into consciousness. Zayn sniffed and he could now smell a different scent underneath the smoke; some kind of woodsy aftershave, perhaps. 

He opened his eyes and immediately narrowed them when a blinding orange light – fire? – came into focus. A violent shudder coursed through his body, though he wasn’t exactly sure why, considering that he was warm, almost… too warm, in fact. He shifted slightly, a crease appearing in between his eyebrows when he felt a tightening around his abdomen. He blinked and he attempted to lift his hand up to feel around, but found that his arm was firmly stuck to his side. 

He looked down and was alarmed to find that he was cocooned in a thick duvet with an arm wrapped securely around him. 

_What the fuck?_

He squirmed, trying to get his arms out from under the blanket, and finally succeeded with a soft grunt as he pulled them free. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he had just run a mile without stopping. He fisted his fingers into the edge of the blanket, pushing it down, but froze when he felt a soft puff of air hit his neck, making the short hairs there stand up on end. 

“H-Hello?” he whispered, but his voice came out as a rusty squeak instead. He swallowed hard and pushed at the blanket again, his arms shaking as his lungs struggled to steady his breaths.

Zayn squawked as the hand of the arm snuck into the duvet and splayed across his belly; how, he didn’t know, considering how constricting the damn thing was. It was then that he realised he wasn’t wearing any clothes and he flushed in mortification. The face of the person behind him nuzzled his neck and he could feel the rough scratch of beard rubbing against his skin. 

Definitely male, then.

He wriggled some more, his hips pressing back into the man behind him, and he tensed again as the man’s fingers curled in on his belly, moving lower. Even though he didn’t even know the man, or even how the fuck he got in this place, it made heat simmer low in his stomach. He groaned inwardly, mind reeling as he figured out what it was that he was going to have to do.

It was then that he made a drastic decision – he elbowed, hard, into where he thought the man’s privates could be, and he smirked when a yelp of pain came from behind him. The man’s hand slipped out of the duvet as he jumped up, stumbling around a bit. 

“Y-you’re awake.” Zayn rolled over onto his back and he looked up at the man, gaze still a bit hazy. From what he could tell, the man had a dark, thick beard covering his jaw and light brown hair that looked as though it was usually slicked back, but at the moment was in disarray. 

He cocked an eyebrow at the man’s odd antics. He cleared his throat before croaking out, “Yeah, you were just groping me in your sleep.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t usually do things like that,” he stuttered, wringing his hands, looking so incredibly guilty that it had Zayn’s lips spreading into a grin. The man’s harried gaze flicked down to Zayn’s smile and he instantly relaxed. 

“Um, anyways,” Zayn began awkwardly, beckoning with a flourish of his hand for the man to sit down next to where he was still wrapped up in the blanket. The man lingered, but did eventually plop down, though he wouldn’t meet Zayn’s eyes. “So… where exactly am I?”

The man visibly swallowed and Zayn watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “You’re in my cabin. I found you nearly frozen to death a few hundred feet away from my place.”

Zayn’s heart stopped in his chest. “W-what?”

The man shrugged before continuing. “I carried you in here and I’ve been taking care of you for the past,” he checked his watch, “twelve hours or so. I actually wasn’t expecting you to wake up so soon.”

Zayn’s jaw had slackened during the man’s explanation and he snapped his mouth shut when the man looked up from the floor at him. “What could my supposed saviour’s name be, then?”

“Liam. Liam Payne.” 

Zayn nodded slowly. The man – Liam – ducked his head down, twiddling his thumbs around and around. “I’m Zayn.”

A sudden pressure on his bladder reminded him that he probably hadn’t had a decent piss in the past 24 hours. “Um, Liam?”

“Yeah?”

“Why am I starkers?”

Liam flushed wildly. “Oh, your clothes were soaking wet because you were out in the snow and usually when you have hypothermia-“

Zayn waved a hand, already knowing what Liam was going to say. “Yeah, okay, I think I got it.” Liam pursed his lips and got up from the ground, walking through a doorway that Zayn assumed lead to his bedroom. “What are you doing?”

“Getting some clothes for you,” Liam called out and then he was coming back with a wrinkled t-shirt and some sweatpants. “The sweatpants might be a little big, but I don’t have anything else at the moment.”

Zayn shrugged and grabbed the clothing from Liam, already wiggling out of the duvet. He stopped and glanced up at Liam. “Do you mind?”

“Shit, sorry.” Liam turned around and Zayn slipped on the clothing, grimacing at how his fingers kept fumbling around with the fabric no matter how hard he tried to get a good grasp on it.

“Do you need help?” Liam asked, still facing the wall. Zayn remained silent, still concentrating on getting the shirt over his head. “Zayn?”

“Don’t worry, I got it.” The shirt fit rather loosely on him – even though Liam was obviously bulkier than Zayn, Zayn knew that he had lost a good amount of weight in a short time. The sweatpants were a bit more difficult to get on and to his frustration, he couldn’t get his numb legs through. Making sure his privates were sufficiently covered with the duvet, he tilted his head up.

“Liam?” 

Liam peeked over his shoulder before fully turning around. “Having troubles?” Zayn wrinkled his nose and nodded, feeling absolutely useless with his limbs deadened. 

Liam bent down and grabbed the sweatpants from Zayn’s hand, quickly making work of getting his legs through the pants. He pulled them up until Zayn said, “I can handle the rest, thank you.” Liam nodded and sat back, his eyes purposely wandering anywhere but Zayn.

Once satisfied, Zayn made to get up, only to fall onto his hands and knees due to his limbs buckling and then collapsing under his weight. He tried a second time and then a third time, but to no avail, and he let out a grunt of annoyance as he flopped onto his stomach. 

He lay there, trying to catch his breath, until he felt a presence over him. Gentle hands slid around his waist and then he was being lifted up until he was standing upright, his legs quaking, even though Liam was the one doing the holding.

“Let me try and walk.” Liam complied and let go, taking a step back to allow room. Zayn huffed and attempted to bring his left foot forward, but it only resulted in his entire body wobbling until he was falling back with a gasp into Liam’s arms. “Fucking hell!” 

Zayn felt Liam’s silent laughter rumbling in his chest from where he was slumped against it and he pouted. “Don’t laugh at my pain. Just take me to the bathroom.” Liam took hold of Zayn’s arm and put it over his shoulder while his other arm was still wrapped around Zayn’s waist, and he slowly walked them both to the bathroom, Zayn’s legs beginning to tingle as blood flowed back into them. 

Once they were into the bathroom, Liam sat Zayn down on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed a roll of toilet paper from underneath the sink, putting it on the counter. He gave Zayn a worried glance. “Are you going to be able to do,” he gesticulated from Zayn’s groin to the toilet basin, “do your business?”

Zayn kicked his feet out, testing to see if it was worth even taking the energy to say “yes” to Liam. “Aren’t I supposed to be able to walk around after 12 hours or so? That’s what I heard, anyways.” 

“Well, I wasn’t able to take your temperature when I brought you in, so I’m not sure if you had severe hypothermia or moderate.” Liam’s face bled sympathy. “Judging by how you’re barely mobile, I don’t think you’ll be able to walk on your own for another day, most likely.” 

Zayn groaned loudly, slapping his palms on his thighs. “So I have to be catered for my every whim for another day? My fucking luck, huh?” Liam flinched at Zayn’s harsh words, his soft smile turning into a frown. Zayn felt a pang of guilt run through him at Liam’s reaction. God, it was one of those wounded looks that made Zayn feel like he kicked a puppy. “Shit. Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and I’m really sorry for acting like a complete arse. I’m used to doing things on my own so when I wake up, barely able to move, it’s a bit overwhelming, you know?”

Liam scratched at the back of his head. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for apologising, though.” An uneasy silence fell over the room as Liam continued to stare at Zayn until Zayn looked away, feeling a bit hotter than before; which is saying something, considering he was practically burning up beforehand.

“Liam, I need to take a piss and I’d rather not have you see my willy,” Zayn said, looking pointedly towards the door. Liam murmured a quick apology and stepped outside into the hallway, his back towards Zayn. Zayn shook his head, wondering how he could have possibly gotten into this mess. Of course, it was probably his own fault anyway.

His mum had suggested that he go and travel the world after university, and he had done just that. He loved it – the wide, open spaces, the change in scenery, the people, the culture - there were so many different aspects of the world that he would never have seen had he not left his home.

He had gone everywhere that he had ever wanted to go and stayed in places that ranged from hostels that smelled like literal human shit to the most luxurious resorts in the world. After three years of travelling, he thought it had been high time to check out the more chilled parts of the earth, such as the woods that he was in now. He wasn’t sure where he was exactly, but he was definitely somewhere in northern England… way, way northern England. A freak snowstorm had come out of nowhere and Zayn had not been prepared. The last thing he remembered before passing out was being incredibly sleepy and oddly warm, and then he was suddenly here, wrapped up in a thick duvet and trembling.

He pushed down his sweatpants and lifted the lid up, sighing in relief as his bladder finally emptied. He turned his head to glance at Liam and found himself rather captivated by the bunched up fabric near his broad shoulders; he must have taken off his coat earlier because now he was sporting a thin, purple t-shirt that defined his back muscles, and oh, God.

Zayn quickly snapped his neck back and grabbed at the roll of toilet paper, dabbing at himself before quickly pulling his sweatpants up. His legs began shaking and he sat down heavily on the side of the bathtub, grunting as his tailbone hit the acrylic wrong. “Ow.”

Zayn heard a snigger from over by the doorway before Liam was walking over to Zayn, a dumb grin stretching his lips. Zayn sneered at Liam, but it did nothing to deter him. “Here, let me help you,” Liam said, moving forward to snake his arms around Zayn’s waist, hoisting him up. 

Zayn squealed as Liam pretty much threw him over his shoulder and carried him to a different room. Zayn pounded his fists on Liam’s back. “Yo, this can’t be good for someone that’s recovering from hypothermia, you brute!” he yelled, though it didn’t even phase Liam’s pace as he made his way into the bedroom. Liam deposited Zayn on the bed and he bounced a little as he hit the mattress, feeling a little woozy from the fall. He glared at Liam, but Liam merely smirked. _Where did this cockiness come from?_ Zayn thought.

“Did you want anything?” Liam asked, tugging the sheets out from underneath Zayn. He pulled them over Zayn, tucked them in under his body, and Zayn started as Liam’s hand grazed his arse. 

“Um, just some water would be nice,” Zayn replied, realising that he was actually parched. Liam nodded and walked out the room, only to come back moments later with a glass of water. He handed it over to Zayn, who took it gratefully. “Thank you.” 

He sipped at it, revelling in the feeling of the water sliding down his dry throat. He closed his eyes, suddenly tired beyond belief. He set the glass on the table next to the bed and turned onto his side, looking to nap for an eternity. The shuffle of feet signalled that Liam had left the room and he nestled into the pillow, mouth opening slightly as he fell asleep, light snores falling from his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first two/three chapters are kind of introducing the characters so I'm sorry if it's a bit slow right now. :( It'll get better, though!


	3. Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam has some feelings and makes food.

As soon as he heard the soft snores come from inside the room, Liam immediately relaxed and padded heavily over to the kitchen table, where he slumped down into a chair. He heard the rattle of the tags on a collar as Sasha came trotting in; from where, he didn’t know. He was too busy with Zayn to have noticed.

“Hey, girl,” Liam murmured, stroking her fur. “Where have you been?” She whined in response and pushed her head up into his palm as soon as he had stopped petting her. His stomach gave a sudden grumble, indicating that he had not actually eaten anything in over 12 hours.

He checked his watch: _11:35 pm_. Though his mind and body were practically screaming for him to get some rest, his need for some kind of sustenance was more important – but, Christ, he was _exhausted_. He couldn’t have gotten more than a few hours of sleep.

Liam stood up and trudged over to the pantry, opening it and sticking his head in, checking to see what he had left from his last trip to the market. He settled for having some cereal, so he poured a bowl of it and didn’t bother sitting back down at the table. He revolved slowly around it instead and he brought a spoonful of cereal up to his mouth, sticking it in, and chewing thoughtfully, wondering about what was going to happen in the next few days.

He heard a whimper come from next to him and he looked over to see Sasha glancing hopefully up at him, her thickly-furred tail swishing back and forth. “Oh, yeah, you’re probably hungry, aren’t you?” He quickly finished his bowl of cereal, setting it in the sink to wash for later, before heading to the pantry where he got out the giant bag of dog food. 

He grunted as he picked it up off the floor and brought it over to Sasha’s food dish, tipping it slightly for bits and pieces of the dog food to come out. She stood by him, waiting patiently for him to fill her dish up and put the bag away. As soon as the sound of the pantry door closing, she went straight for it, eliciting a soft chuckle from Liam. “Always so keen on eating,” he murmured, half to himself, before walking to the couch by the dying fire.

He tossed another log into the fire and then toppled over onto the couch, not bothering to change his clothes, and his eyes fluttered closed. 

\----

Morning light filtered in through the windows, bathing the living room in a soft, yellow glow. The sun shining directly into Liam’s face was what woke him, he thought, or else it had been Sasha quite literally jumping onto his chest, but she had been doing that so often that he hardly noticed anymore – he opened his eyes and was met with a blinding white light, so it was definitely the sunlight. Liam yawned widely and scrubbed a hand over his chin and grimacing as a finger got stuck in a tangle in his beard. _Time to trim, I think_ , he thought, sitting up. He stretched his arms and legs out, toes curling, listening for the satisfying _pop_ of his limbs waking up. 

Sasha had since gone to the foot of the couch where she had curled into a ball, side rising and falling gently with each breath. He checked the time on the oven and saw that it was nearly 10 in the morning, which was odd, considering Liam was constantly waking up at the crack of dawn. 

_Better go check on Zayn._

He got up and arched his back before padding over to the bedroom, his bare feet slapping on the wooden floor. He peeked his head around the doorframe, smiling slightly at the sight of Zayn curled up on his side, the sheets all but kicked away from him. Liam cocked his head, mesmerised by just how small Zayn was. Then again, it could have just been the way he was positioned in his sleep.

Liam crept closer, intent on waking Zayn up so he could come out to the kitchen and have breakfast, but his breath caught in his throat as he looked upon him. His black hair was all dishevelled, bangs falling into his eyes and the rest spread out over the white pillow. His long eyelashes fanned out over his sharp cheekbones and Liam’s gaze moved down to his full lips, which were slightly parted and looked so, so inviting. 

Good God, Zayn was beautiful.

“Fuck,” Liam whispered, an arm involuntarily reaching out to brush the hair out of Zayn’s face. He gently pushed the hair aside and his heart nearly stopped as Zayn mumbled something incoherent before turning over, facing away from Liam. Liam was left with his hand hovering over Zayn’s head and he snatched it back, cursing inwardly, and quickly walked back into the kitchen to start breakfast. 

Suddenly feeling hot all over, he went over to the refrigerator and opened it, putting his face inside to soothe his burning cheeks. _Christ, it’s like I’m a teenager all over again. I’m 28, for fuck’s sake._ Shaking his head, he grabbed a carton of eggs and a package of bacon before shutting the door and heading over to the stove. He turned the stove on and cracked an egg into the skillet, focussing on making breakfast, yet his thoughts kept straying to Zayn.

A soft _yip_ from Sasha after he put two slices of bread into the toaster broke his concentration and he turned his attention away from the stove, thinking that he was going to find her begging for a strip of bacon. To his surprise, Zayn was standing at the counter, only a few feet away from Liam. 

“How long have you been standing there?” Liam asked, turning his focus back to the stove to flip the bacon for a moment before looking at Zayn once more. 

Zayn smirked. “About five minutes. You’re very attentive when your mind is set on something.” 

“Well, you’re just very quiet,” Liam retorted. The _ding_ from the toaster drew his attention away again and he grabbed the two pieces of toast, spread a generous amount of butter on them, and dropped them onto the plate where a large heap of scrambled eggs and four pieces of bacon were already arranged on it. “That’s for you.” 

Liam heard a noise that sounded suspiciously like a stomach growling and he smiled as Zayn crossed his arms over his lower stomach, making a face. “I haven’t eaten in a long time,” Zayn explained, though Liam already figured it out. "Um, I also can't eat bacon since it's pork. I'm Muslim and that's against the um, rules," he added sheepishly.

"Oh no, that's totally fine; you can just eat everything else or give them to me. Anyways, I did find you over two days ago,” Liam replied, tapping the edge of the plate. Zayn shot Liam a grateful look and picked up the plate of food and fork, quickly making his way over to the kitchen table where he sat down and quickly began shovelling eggs into his waiting mouth. A loud, satisfied moan came from him and it was muffled by the food.

Liam grabbed his own plate and sat down across from Zayn, watching as Zayn finished off the eggs in record time and started on the toast. “You should probably slow down.”

Zayn acted like he didn’t hear Liam and he continued to get as much food in his belly as possible, crumbs falling from his lips, though Liam was pretty sure that Zayn didn’t give a fuck about the mess he was making. Zayn suddenly made a choking sound and Liam leaped into action, ready to give the Heimlich manoeuvre if needed, but Zayn flapped his hand at Liam before swallowing hard. Liam sat back down slowly, carefully gauging Zayn’s actions.

“Ow, that hurt,” Zayn croaked, massaging at his throat. Liam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and forked up a bit of egg, eyes still warily watching Zayn as he resumed eating, though he was chewing at a much more languid pace than before. “Maybe I choked because there wasn’t enough butter on the toast.”

Liam gasped dramatically, feigning offense, and pressed a palm to his chest. “Damn, that hurt.”

Zayn grinned cheekily. Even from across the table, Liam could see his eyes twinkling, and the sun wasn’t even shining into them. Fuck.

They sat in a comfortable silence after that and the only sound breaking through was the crunch of toast and crispy bacon. Liam stared at his plate and pushed the food around with his fork, but he looked up every so often to see what Zayn was doing and every time he did, he caught Zayn watching him, that smirk still on his lips. 

Liam abruptly dropped his fork and pushed his plate away, standing up and scratching at his beard. “Um, if you’re done, I’ll take your plate.” 

“Nah, that’s okay, I got it.” Zayn also stood up and grabbed his plate, walking over to the kitchen sink and putting the plate and fork in. Liam saw that Zayn was still a bit wobbly on his legs, but that night spent in Liam’s plush bed really must have done the trick as it was hardly noticeable.

Zayn’s arm shot out, his hand grasping at the edge of the counter as he began to teeter forward, and Liam heard him curse under his breath. “Leeyum, I’m still all fucked up,” he complained and Liam stepped over to him, curling a hand around his bicep. Zayn grumbled something about “not needing help”, but he let Liam lead him to the couch where he sat him down. 

“I thought I was getting better,” Zayn said miserably before leaning against the back of the couch. 

Liam patted Zayn on the arm, genuinely saddened by Zayn’s disposition. Zayn visibly shuddered and Liam glanced over at the fireplace, puzzled, because he had just stoked the fire and it was still burning high. A thought popped into his head and he said, “Did you want some hot chocolate? I make it here.”

Zayn’s eyes widened and his head bobbed up and down quickly. “God, yes, that sounds delicious. I haven’t had homemade hot chocolate in ages.” 

He walked back over to the pantry and got out the ingredients needed, whisking them together in a large bowl he had gotten out from underneath the sink. He then went to the refrigerator and got out the carton of milk, eyeballing it as he poured it into a saucepan. 

As he waited for the milk to heat up on the stove, he felt the presence of Zayn behind him, probably watching as he made the hot chocolate. “So do you just pour the dry ingredients into the milk when it gets hot?” Zayn asked as Liam stirred the milk with a wooden spoon, breaking up the thin layer of film on top of it.

Liam nodded in response, satisfied when the milk finally came to a boil. He stirred in the ingredients and the smell of chocolate began to waft up from the saucepan, making Liam’s senses go wild. If he were to be honest, he would admit that he had quite the sweet tooth; especially for chocolate. 

“Hey Zayn, would you mind getting out two mugs? They’re in the cabinet right next to you.” The sound of glasses clinking together as Zayn searched for the mugs told Liam that he was having a bit of difficulty finding them, considering that they were right in front of his face. 

Liam stopped mixing the hot chocolate and turned around to grab the mugs at the same time as Zayn exclaimed ‘found them!’ and he smirked good-naturedly when Zayn pouted at him. “I almost got them!” Liam shrugged and opened the drawer to grab a ladle, dipping it into the hot chocolate and then pouring it into the mugs without spilling a drop onto the marble countertop. 

He got out the can of whipped cream from the door in the fridge, spraying a good amount of it on top of his hot chocolate. “Did you want any?” Liam asked and Zayn shook his head. He picked up his mug and took a dainty sip, nearly jerking it back as the burning liquid hit his tongue. He heard a snort from beside him and he knew that Zayn was laughing at him, but he decided to ignore it for the time being.

“So…” Zayn said and Liam turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “What do you wanna talk about?” Liam pursed his lips, going over the many, many questions that he had wanted to ask Zayn since he had woken up from his slumber two days ago. He shifted his weight from side to side, finally settling on what he would ask.

“How did you even get here?”

Zayn nodded, as if he knew that Liam would ask that certain question, and he slumped against the counter. “My mother wanted me to get out and see the world after I graduated from uni, and that’s exactly what I did. I travelled everywhere for around two years and then I decided that I would come back to my own country and do some exploring up north… so that’s what happened.” 

Zayn didn’t say anything else after the confession, but Liam could tell that there was more to the story that Zayn wasn’t relaying to him. “Do you not remember what happened after you came into the woods?” Liam asked gently. 

Zayn avoided Liam’s gaze and he looked at the ground, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “I-I don’t know what happened after I left the marketplace-"

“The one a few miles away?” 

“Yeah, probably. I’m not sure, though.” Zayn paused, setting his mug down on the counter and Liam did the same. “Anyways, I remember that there was this freak storm that just seemed to come out of nowhere and I was caught up in it. I had checked the weather earlier that day and it had said mostly clear skies, so I had worn clothes that weren’t exactly suitable for a heavy winter storm, as you probably could tell when you found me in the snow and- that’s about it. The last thing I remember is feeling sleepy and I ended pretty much falling to the ground, thinking that I was just going to take a quick nap, and then I was waking up with you wrapped around me.” 

As soon as Zayn finished, his cheeks turned a rosy pink, and the sight was so endearing that Liam took a step forward and snaked his arms around Zayn’s waist, pulling him into a tight hug. He felt Zayn stiffen, but after a second he loosened up and returned the embrace.

“I’m sorry for being a dick,” Zayn mumbled against Liam’s shoulder. Liam rested a hand on the back of Zayn’s head and tangled his fingers into his hair, nearly moaning at how fucking soft it was. Zayn exhaled sharply and Liam froze, quickly breaking the hug and taking a step back. Liam laughed nervously although deep inside, he was feeling incredibly giddy. 

Zayn suddenly yawned and Liam realised that Zayn probably was still extremely fatigued, despite the fact that he had probably slept twice as much as Liam had. Then again, he was still getting over hypothermia, so it came as no surprise to see Zayn begin walking back to the bedroom. Liam followed closely, making sure that he would be there to catch Zayn if he toppled over. Zayn flopped down on the bed, a content sigh leaving his lips as he burrowed his face into the pillow. 

“Um, I’ll just leave you to it, then,” Liam said, backing out of the room. 

“No, come back.” Liam stopped in his tracks and glanced back at Zayn to find him sitting up, looking tiny as ever in Liam’s king-sized bed. “I’m still fucking freezing and these blankets aren’t enough.” Liam’s heart thundered in his chest as he made his way to Zayn before climbing into the bed, pulling the sheets over him. Zayn scooted closer to Liam from where he was lying practically on the edge of the bed and patted the area next to him.

“You don’t have to be scared of cuddling, ya know.” 

Liam complied by moving away from the edge of the bed, yet he was still tense. Zayn closed the rest of the distance and he bent forward a bit to lay his head on Liam’s chest, and Liam knew that Zayn could hear the rapid beating of his heart under his ear. 

“You’re very warm,” Zayn slurred, already on the verge of sleep. Zayn’s head suddenly felt heavy on Liam’s head as his breathing evened out, his exhales stirring the hair that had fallen onto his forehead. Liam closed his eyes, though he knew that he was not going to get any rest, not with a man like Zayn curled up next to him.

Liam wasn’t falling. At least, that’s what he was trying to convince himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I've been ending my chapters with them falling asleep every time now.
> 
> I've also been having a difficult time thinking up things to write about every chapter and i'm not having much luck. Would you guys mind helping me out with this? Like, just leave ideas for me to work with, whether it be more conversing between the two of them, more about Sasha, etc. Thanks so much!


	4. Impatience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Liam get on each other's nerves.

Zayn was bored.

Actually, that was quite the understatement.

It had been at least a week, at least from Zayn’s calculations, since he had had that conversation with Liam about themselves, and Liam had not let Zayn out of the damn cabin at all. 

He was going completely stir crazy and it was all Liam’s fault. 

Liam had also failed to mention that he had a dog, so when Zayn was dozing, a heavy weight landing on his chest had him jerking awake. Zayn’s arms flailed as he struggled to breathe, and then a wet tongue was licking his cheek, and his eyes blinked open to find a muzzle directly in his line of vision. He may or may not have shrieked loud enough to shatter glass.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you had a dog?!” Zayn had practically screamed at Liam when he had come running into the room mere seconds after Zayn’s yell. Sasha had gotten off Zayn and curled up next to him, pressing the length of her body against his side. “I don’t even really like dogs.” Sasha lifted her head up and gave him her best puppy dog eyes before lying her head back on her paws, a prolonged, dramatic sigh escaping her.

“It didn’t really occur to me to tell you,” Liam admitted, crossing the room and scratching under Sasha’s chin. Zayn glared daggers at Liam and huffed before settling back against the pillows, crossing his arms stubbornly. “Why don’t you like dogs, anyways?”

Zayn shrugged. “I’m a cat person.” 

Since then, Sasha had taken quite the liking to Zayn, to Zayn’s absolute dismay. Wherever he went, whether it be to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of milk, or to the bathroom to take a piss, she was following dutifully behind him. He wasn’t certain if he was going insane from being stuck inside for so long, but it really did seem like she was watching his every move. It was kind of annoying.

“Leeyum, I’m so _bored_ ,” Zayn complained, drawing out the last word. His feet were resting on the table in front of the couch and Liam was sitting next to him, a mug of coffee cradled in his hands. 

Liam smacked Zayn’s shoulder lightly before saying, “Get your grubby feet off my table.” Zayn pretended not to hear him and crossed his ankles, humming loudly. Liam groaned, obviously irritated, and he set his mug on the table, getting up. Zayn squawked as Liam pushed his feet off the table and they thumped onto the floor, Zayn’s heels stinging as they hit the wood.

“That wasn’t very nice!” Zayn massaged his feet with his index finger and thumb, muttering something about Liam being an arsewipe. Liam rolled his eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time and grabbed his coffee from the table, padding over to the kitchen. “Your eyes are going to get stuck in your head if you keep rolling them,” Zayn called out and he smirked at the _smack_ of the mug as Liam slammed it a bit harder than necessary down on the countertop.

“You know, I wouldn’t be saying a word if you just let me leave the place for a while,” Zayn intoned, flinging his arms around the back of the couch and propping his feet back up on the table. He could practically feel Liam’s eyes burning a hole into the back of his head, but he was convinced that the more he wound up Liam, the more likely he would let him go outside.

“I have half a mind to just throw you out in the fucking snow,” Liam grumbled, almost too quietly for Zayn to hear. Zayn laughed and clambered to his feet, jogging over to where Liam had since diverted his turbulent glare from Zayn to the mug on the counter. Zayn tapped Liam’s shoulder to get his attention and when he didn’t even bother responding, Zayn clapped his hand onto the back of Liam’s neck and squeezed. 

Liam froze in place and then spun around, knocking Zayn’s hand away. Zayn backed off, giving Liam some space, but he wasn’t frightened at all. Nope, this was exactly what Zayn wanted.

“For fuck’s sake, Zayn! What the hell do you want?” Liam shouted, making Zayn crook an eyebrow. 

“You know exactly what I want.” Zayn suddenly felt the fury begin boiling his gut and then he was yelling, “Stop being so overprotective and let me leave this god forsaken place! I’m going fucking nuts, Liam!” Zayn had unintentionally stepped closer and was nearly nose-to-nose with Liam, staring into his equally ireful eyes. 

They were both breathing heavily with the force of their anger and then Liam was casting his gaze downward, his rage cooling as he turned away to lean heavily against the counter. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to let you leave,” Liam finally conceded, his lips straightening out into a thin line. “It’s been constantly snowing since I found you and I think that that might be a sign that you shouldn’t go yet.”

Zayn sighed exasperatedly and threw his hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to do then? Just wait around until the snow stops coming down? This may be news to you, but since we’re currently in the fucking north of England, it snows constantly.” Liam remained silent, but glanced up at Zayn, a pained expression on his face. 

Once again, Liam was giving Zayn the puppy dog eyes, and Zayn just couldn’t bear it. “Listen,” he said gently, “I understand that you’re scared, but I can take care of myself - possibly more so than before, thanks to you.”

Zayn thought for sure that his words would soothe Liam’s worries, but his heart dropped into his stomach when Liam answered, albeit with regret lacing his tone, “I’m sorry, Zayn, but I can’t let you leave. At least, not yet.”

Zayn forced himself to keep from cursing at Liam and whipped around, stomping to a different part of the cabin, far, far away from Liam fucking Payne.

\----

Liam had taken to sleeping on the couch that night - Zayn had made it clear that he didn’t wish to speak to Liam - so Zayn was stretched out on the bed, Sasha pressed up against him, and he couldn’t sleep. He checked the alarm clock next to the bed and groaned, noting that it was almost 3 in the morning. He turned onto his side and pulled the sheets up over his shoulders and let his eyes flutter close. He lay there for a few minutes, waiting, waiting, waiting for sleep to come, but it didn’t and Zayn sat up, feeling incredibly restless. 

Making sure that Sasha was sound asleep, he flipped the sheets away from him and stepped onto the cold wood, tiptoeing to the door and opening it as quietly as possible. He winced at the creaking noise it made as it cracked open and he glanced over at Sasha, who thankfully remained dead to the world, and he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

He was going to get out of here whether Liam liked it or not. 

_Then again, Liam did save my life, and defying his wishes would make me feel guilty as hell and he’ll just be so disappointed…_ Zayn shook his head violently. He knew that if he didn’t take one step out the front door, the wooden walls of the cabin would get closer and closer until Zayn was nothing but dust. 

Zayn put on some wool socks he found in Liam’s dresser and snuck out of the room, passing right by the couch where Liam was snoring quietly on his back, his hands clasped together on his chest like he was praying – it was most likely that he had fallen asleep that way. Zayn went to the stand where Liam’s heavy duty coat, boots, gloves, and hat were and slipped them on one by one. 

He looked out the window to see snow falling lightly from the dark sky, the wind not even strong enough to disturb the flakes on their descent to the ground. Not bothering to check to see if Liam was still asleep, he grasped the doorknob and pulled the door open, a smile gracing his face as the satisfying chill of winter hit him. 

It felt like an eternity since he had last felt any temperature colder than the 22 degrees that Liam usually had his cabin set to, since he constantly stoked the fire so it never died down. Zayn was pretty sure that Liam was doing it for his sake because Liam usually never wore more than a thin t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans around the house. 

Zayn, on the other hand, was always bundled up in a large sweatshirt of Liam’s that Liam had insisted he wear, but Zayn had taken to pulling it off and throwing it at Liam’s face whenever he wanted to make a point that Liam was coddling him. Sometimes it worked and Liam would allow him to wear a long-sleeved shirt, but sometimes it didn’t and Liam usually forced it back over Zayn’s head – gently, of course - stating that he didn’t want Zayn to freeze. A niggling thought at the back of Zayn’s mind had him assuming that Liam actually liked seeing Zayn in his clothes as well. 

Zayn gulped in the cold air, relishing the coldness that he drew into his lungs. He took a step outside and almost laughed out of delight at the crunch of the snow as it gave way under his boot. He took another step and then another until he came to the first tree that he spotted when he had first opened the door. He threw his arms around the tree and hugged it to his chest, humming a tune. Zayn took in a deep breath and then exhaled, watching as the fog-like vapour appeared in front of him. He then looked upon the wintery, white landscape and into the impending darkness, and he felt his heart soar at the prospect of finally, finally getting away.

Christ, it was exhilarating.

Zayn rested his cold cheek against the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes, enjoying the solitude until he got too cold and had to head back inside.

“Zayn?”

Zayn stiffened and then slowly turned around, bracing himself for the scolding that Liam was certainly going to give him. He eyed Liam’s figure warily from where his back was illuminated by the light of the cabin and his face was cast in shadows. What Zayn could tell was that Liam was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a wife beater, plus – Jesus - his feet were bare, and he was standing in the fucking snow.

“It’s the middle of the night, mate. Why are you out now, of all times of the day?” Liam asked, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, most likely to warm himself. Zayn said nothing and instead trudged through the snow towards Liam, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. 

He pushed past Liam, not looking at him in fear of seeing his disappointed expression, and began taking off his gear, flinging the boots aside and putting the other pieces of clothing up on the hanger to dry. He crossed the room and sat down on the couch, noting that it was still warm from where Liam had been supposedly sleeping. God, why hadn’t he checked to see that Liam was actually unconscious? 

“Zayn, I understand that you’re frustrated-” Liam started, suddenly appearing in front of Zayn. 

Zayn scoffed, punching at the blanket next to him. “Frustrated isn’t even the half of it.” He tilted his head up to glare at Liam. “I’m 26 fucking years old, Liam. There’s no need for you to continue to treat me like a child, considering that I’m fully recovered from the hypothermia. Actually, I can technically leave whenever, despite your opposition towards it.”

Liam’s lips parted but no sound escaped them and his expression contorted into a look of shame. “You’re completely right.”

Zayn widened his eyes in disbelief. He hadn’t thought that his words would sway Liam’s opinion. “What?”

“You’re right. You’re free to go and I shouldn’t keep you here. It’s just that-” Liam’s words were swallowed up by a wide yawn. “It’s the middle of the night. Can’t you at least wait until the morning before you take off? Besides, you don’t really have anything to change into since you’ve been wearing my clothes.”

“But I have the ones I had from when you found me.” Liam shuffled his weight from hip to hip, obviously uncomfortable. Even before Liam opened his mouth, Zayn knew what he was going to say. “My clothes are gone, aren’t they?”

“They were beyond repair… so I kind of had to um, burn them,” Liam confirmed guiltily.

Zayn shook his head, suddenly feeling far too tired and ornery to deal with anything at the moment. Not bothering to get up to go back to the bedroom, he laid down on the couch before pulling the duvet out from under him and settling it over his frame. He turned over onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow, making it clear that he no longer wanted to be disturbed. It didn’t seem to work as there was a slight dip of the couch under Liam’s weight at his feet.

“Liam, I want to sleep,” he groused, his voice muffled by the pillow. He felt a warm hand splay over the small of his back and he involuntarily leaned into the touch, sinking a little bit further into the couch cushions as Liam let his fingers ghost over Zayn’s skin.

“What’s the real reason why you don’t want me to leave?” Zayn suddenly said and he felt Liam’s fingers freeze their caressing. Zayn turned over and blinked at Liam, waiting for his answer.

“I-I don’t know,” Liam murmured, reaching up to twist his fingers into his hair, mussing it up even more than before. Just by the way that Liam was suddenly fidgeting and avoiding Zayn’s searching gaze, Zayn understood that Liam was hiding something from him. 

“Liam-”

“It’s really early in the morning and I want to be up in a few hours,” Liam interrupted, tone carefully flat so as to not betray himself. “Do you want to sleep here or in the bed?”

“I’ll just sleep here,” Zayn replied, burrowing back under the duvet. He decided that he would let Liam go without answering Zayn’s question for now, but he would try again later, perhaps later in the week. For now, it was probably best if they both just get some rest. 

Lost in his thoughts, the creak of the floorboards as Liam walked across the room snapped him out of his reverie, and he called out, “Liam?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry! I know I said twice a week for updates and I'm getting slower and slower at writing. This chapter really doesn't make up for my absence and I apologize for that, but I hope you enjoy anyways!!
> 
> I have a general idea for what I'm going to write for the rest of the fic so hopefully I can get the next chapter out in the next few days.


	5. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings come out to play.

Despite Zayn’s desire to get back to his life, away from Liam’s cabin, it seemed that the world was against him as a nasty snowstorm blew in and would not let up. It had been another week of being cooped up and even Liam was beginning to feel agitated. He was constantly pacing the halls, willing the snow to let up so he could go to the market and get some exercise, but of course, it just kept coming down. 

Zayn, on the other hand, normally lounged around the cabin, with Sasha following right behind him. Even after Zayn had told Liam that he didn’t exactly have an affinity for dogs, it was clear that Zayn was warming up to Sasha. When he thought Liam was looking, he would stroke her from head to tail and even cuddle up to her when he was cold. Just as with everything that had to do with Zayn, it was incredibly endearing and it made Liam’s heart swell with affection.

Speaking of which, Liam wasn’t exactly sure when he began seeing Zayn in a different light than when he first found him in the snow.

Perhaps it had been when Zayn would go around in nothing but a giant shirt and a pair of boxers – _Liam’s_ boxers – slung low on his hips with his black hair sticking out in every direction, or maybe it was when Liam had said something that made Zayn laugh so hard, his eyes narrowed into slits and the tip of his tongue pressed at the back of his teeth as he smiled widely. 

There was also that time when Liam had woken up at the crack of dawn to pleasure-filled moans echoing through the cabin and when he had padded to where the noise was coming from, he had immediately gotten rock-hard at the sight before him. Zayn, his back arching off of Liam’s bed, hand shoved into his pants, looking positively insatiable. Christ. Liam had sped to the bathroom to pull himself off, thinking only of Zayn, Zayn, _Zayn_ , writhing underneath Liam, panting and gasping with his head tossed back in the throes of ecstasy.

It was probably best to accept that Liam was falling, and falling _hard_.

Even though Zayn constantly got on every last one of Liam’s nerves 24/7, there was just something about him that got Liam all caught up in a stupid crush that Zayn would probably never reciprocate. Liam had experienced this situation several times before and it never ended well on his part. Hell, if he hadn’t been forced into a marriage with Sophia, he probably wouldn’t have had any kind of relationship due to his fear of rejection. 

Zayn made his heart pound so fucking hard in his chest and he would be damned to let Zayn slip away between his fingers; at least, not without finding out how he truly felt.

The thing was, Liam wasn’t sure how to bring such a subject up without revealing himself.

Though he may have just been overthinking it, he was 76 percent certain that Zayn was, at the very least, physically attracted to Liam. Zayn had a wandering eye and Liam had been subject to it several times. 

Liam had just taken a shower and he had the towel loosely wrapped around his waist. He walked to his bedroom, thinking that it was probably empty save for possibly Sasha, but instead both Sasha and Zayn were there. Liam’s cheeks flamed and he fiddled with the edge of his towel, not knowing if he should step out and wait until Zayn left, or tell him to leave. 

He must have made some noise because Zayn looked up from the book he was reading and his gaze honed in on Liam’s chest, still damp with water droplets cascading down. Liam felt his entire body warm as Zayn did a once-over, his eyes moving slowly down Liam’s body and then back up to his face. Liam could have sworn that his pupils had dilated, but he wasn’t able to be sure of it as Zayn got up from the bed and brushed past Liam, his fingertips lightly trailing along Liam’s hipbone, with Sasha following in his wake. Then again, that could have been Liam’s imagination fucking with him, but either way, Liam had closed the door, flung the towel aside, and brought himself off in a matter of minutes.

It seemed as though Liam was having more wanking sessions in two weeks than he ever had in six months. 

In the past few days, Zayn had been acting more flirtatious than ever – he was constantly touching Liam, whether it be on Liam’s shoulder as he was passing by, the knuckles of his hand when they were sitting down together, or when Zayn had mentioned that there was fluff in Liam’s moustache. He had then proceeded to flick it off, his pinkie lingering on Liam’s upper lip. 

Christ, the very thought of Zayn wanting Liam was exhilarating and it really, really didn’t help that Zayn was fucking gorgeous.

Liam was utterly screwed.

\----

“Yo, Liam, we don’t have much going on for food,” Zayn called out, head buried in the pantry. 

Liam glanced over his shoulder from where he was tending the fire. “I’m aware, but unfortunately I can’t go to the market with this storm being so awful. I’m also surprised that the electricity has held out this long, to be honest.”

Liam poked at a log, rolling it over so it was lying on top of where the majority of the flames were. He felt a sense of satisfaction come over him as the fire burst to life and heat came bleeding out of the hearth. 

Five points of pressure suddenly pushed into his lower back and Liam knew that Zayn was right behind him, hand caressing his stiffened spine. He lowered himself onto his arse and he heard Zayn shift as he got more comfortable, his legs appearing on either side of Liam. Liam shuddered as the pressure of Zayn’s fingertips increased as he began massaging Liam’s shoulders.

“How does that feel?” Zayn purred into Liam’s ear and Liam could have sworn that the point of Zayn’s tongue flicked out to graze at the shell of Liam’s ear. Liam groaned out a “yes” and his pants were getting to be painfully tight as Zayn worked out the kinks in Liam’s tense shoulders.

The length of Zayn’s torso pressed along Liam’s back, Zayn’s hands no longer on Liam’s shoulders. Zayn rested his head against Liam’s own and sighed audibly, arms reaching around Liam’s waist. _Holy fuck_.

Liam quickly got out of Zayn’s grasp and stood up, stumbling a bit in his haste. Zayn was still on the ground, blinking in confusion at Liam’s abrupt change of demeanour. The question that Liam had been dying to ask Zayn for five fucking days came up Liam’s throat and then-

“Are you gay?” Liam blurted, immediately regretting his words as Zayn’s eyes widened into saucers. 

“U-um,” Zayn stammered, a flush working its way up into his cheeks, “I haven’t really thought about it, ‘cause I mean like- I like whoever, really. It doesn’t matter what gender.”

“Oh,” Liam croaked out lamely. “Okay, well, that’s all good, then.” A tense, unpleasant silence settled over them as they stared at each other.

“Why do you wanna know?” 

“Oh, um, I-I just-"

Zayn’s expression quickly morphed and then he was wearing a shit-eating grin. “Why, Liam, do you… _fancy_ me?”

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ Liam wanted Zayn to know his feelings, but God, he just didn’t want to go through the pain of rejection yet again. How Zayn figured it out, Liam wasn’t sure. Then again, Liam wasn’t exactly the best at masking his emotions.

Zayn’s grin softened into a small smile, one that Liam had never seen before. Zayn got up from his feet and stood a foot in front of Liam, eyes shining, though not with tears. Liam was flabbergasted. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Liam asked, voice wavering. He took a small step back, only for Zayn to take a larger step forward, face unchanging from its odd - possibly affectionate, though Liam was cynical - expression. 

Liam shivered as Zayn cupped Liam’s cheek with a warm palm, now only a foot away from Liam. “Are you just fucking with me?” Liam whispered.

Zayn shook his head slowly. “No, I promise I’m not. I know that I’m an arsehole, but I would never intentionally hurt anyone. Besides, I feel the same way.” Liam’s heart soared and a smile broke out, despite that niggling doubt in the back of his mind that no, no, Zayn was just screwing with Liam’s emotions, but then yes, yes, _yes_!

Liam’s arm came up and covered Zayn’s smaller hand. Zayn closed the distance and Liam closed his eyes, body shaking, and then Zayn’s lips were gently brushing his. Fireworks exploded behind Liam’s eyes and his heart was hammering in his chest, but everything felt so, so right with the world. 

Liam’s uncovered Zayn’s hand and he snaked his arms around Zayn, pulling him flush against him as the kiss deepened, Liam licking into Zayn’s mouth - they fit together perfectly, much like a puzzle. God, he tasted so fucking good and Liam just could not have enough of this beautiful man in his arms. When Liam felt the hard length of Zayn press against his thigh, something primal and borderline animalistic came over him and he actually _growled_ into Zayn’s mouth, fingers now kneading greedily at Zayn’s back, moving lower to cup Zayn's arse in his palms.

Everything was hot, searing, and setting every sense of Liam’s afire.

They broke apart, breathing heavily, lips swollen and bruised. Liam was extremely aware of the fact that he was sporting an erection, easily seen if just glanced at. He laughed, more out of amazement than nervousness, as Zayn blatantly adjusted himself in his pants, looking just as wrecked as Liam was feeling.

“I haven’t made out like that in ages,” Zayn admitted, looking proper dazed. Liam brushed imaginary lint off of Zayn’s shoulders, though all Liam wanted to do was just push Zayn down onto his knees and unbutton Liam’s jeans.

“This is probably not the best time to ask,” Zayn began, gesturing towards his crotch, “but I do wanna know- when did you start feeling this way?”

It took a few moments for Liam to carefully lay out his words, wanting to make sure that Zayn completely understood. “I guess it was probably about a week and a half after I found you. You were looking particularly delectable-" Zayn snickered at that, though his cheeks were still glowing, “and I was like, ‘oh, shit’. Then it kind of just went from there, I suppose. The more I got to know you over these past few weeks, the more that I, well… fell for you.” 

Zayn looked like he was trying not to grin. “Is that when you saw me jacking off that I was looking ‘particularly delectable’?” 

Liam inhaled sharply. “How did you-?”

“The light was on in the living room so I could see you through the crack in the door.” Zayn didn’t seem at all irritated by Liam’s voyeurism. In fact, he sounded rather delighted, if anything.

“I’m sorry about that, but I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard moaning, so I had to go check it out,” Liam said sheepishly, shuffling his socked feet on the floor in embarrassment. As an afterthought, he added brazenly, “It was pretty hot.”

Zayn waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Liam’s previously wilting hard-on came back with full force. Zayn must have noticed a change in Liam’s state as his gaze flicked down to Liam’s crotch and back up, a dangerous glint in his eye. “Do you want me to take care of that?”

Liam let out a strangled noise as a fantasy of Zayn with his mouth shiny and red with a mixture of saliva and spunk running down his chin made his dick pulse. “God, _please_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit shorter than I anticipated but I thought that where I stopped was a good ending for the chapter. ;)


	6. Intrigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some literal sucking and then some talk.

It was pretty clear to Zayn that Liam wanted nothing more than to eat Zayn alive. 

As Zayn dropped to his knees and glanced up the length of Liam’s torso with a sly, simpering smirk, he noticed that the irises of Liam’s eyes were practically swallowed up by his pupils, and he had a hazy flush to his face and chest that indicated that he was indeed very, very aroused. 

The view was strangely elating and it was making Zayn’s confidence sky rocket into the heavens.

He skimmed his palm across the prominent bulge in Liam’s sweatpants and he heard Liam’s sharp intake of breath from above him. Zayn’s hand once more moved over Liam’s clothed erection, this time adding more pressure.

“Put your hand in my hair,” Zayn ordered and Liam obliged, his fingers immediately twisting into Zayn’s black strands, his fingernails accidentally scraping at Zayn’s scalp every so often. The slight twinge of pain in his scalp went straight to his dick, which was already standing at attention, and he shifted uncomfortably as it pressed insistently at the zipper of his jeans as it filled up even further.

He fingered at the waistband of Liam’s sweatpants, relishing in the sounds Liam was making above him, and wanting to drag out this moment as long as possible. After a rather high-pitched, urging whine came from Liam, he decided that Liam had gone through enough suffering. He hooked his thumbs under the waistband and pulled it down, eyes widening in astonishment as Liam’s cock came springing out, completely unrestrained and, well, _huge_.

“You went commando?” Zayn’s hand wrapped around the base and he pumped it a few times, intrigued by the head disappearing and reappearing within the foreskin as he jerked Liam.

Instead of replying, Liam’s fingers tightened in Zayn’s hair and he tugged. A moan gurgled in Zayn’s throat at the pleasurable pain and he leaned forward, giving the cockhead a tentative lick before completely enveloping Liam’s dick into his mouth. 

It had been ages since Zayn had had a dick sit hot and heavy on his tongue, so the fact that his jaw was already beginning to ache was not surprising. It wasn’t like Zayn didn’t actually enjoying giving head; he loved it, actually. It was just that Liam’s cock was just so enormous and Zayn was pretty sure that he had never had a dick this big in his mouth before.

He groaned around Liam’s dick at the wild vision of Liam buried balls-deep inside him, the rapid, constant slap of skin against skin resonating off the walls. His hand suddenly reached down and he tugged at the back of his jeans, freeing his arse from its confines. He rubbed a dry finger against his hole, feeling as it gave slightly to the pressure. 

He slid off of Liam’s cock for a moment and stuck three fingers into his mouth, coating them generously, and he reached behind him, sliding a slicked up digit into him with ease. He fed Liam’s dick back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head in time with his own thrusts into his arse.

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” Liam’s voice was raspy and deep, and Zayn couldn’t help but whimper as he added another finger, digging in deep to hit his prostate. His back arched as he crooked his fingers at just the right angle, but his rhythm didn’t slow even as he came closer and closer to the edge.

“You’re going to come just from sucking me off and stuffing yourself full with your fingers, aren’t you?” Zayn nearly choked on Liam’s dick as the growled-out words reached his ears. He whimpered and added another digit, getting off on Liam’s filthy talk. “Yeah, take it.” 

Zayn swallowed around Liam’s cock, rocking his hips back onto his fingers, feeling around for that sweet spot and seeing white as he hit it. Zayn’s hands had rested on Liam’s hips at some point and they were trembling with the need to fuck into Zayn’s mouth, but it seemed that he was holding himself back. The taste of pre-come was permeating Zayn’s taste buds and he knew that Liam was going to come at any moment, despite Liam’s best efforts.

“I bet you would look so pretty with my own fingers up your arse.” 

That was what did it. Zayn’s fingers spasmed and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he came in his jeans with fingers buried in himself and Liam’s cock in his mouth. He vaguely heard Liam murmuring words of encouragement until he was also coming, his hot spunk sliding down Zayn’s throat as he swallowed it all down in a daze, still coming down from his high. 

He took his fingers out of his arse, hole clenching around nothing, and he fell back on his back, unconcerned about the inside of his jeans covered in drying come.

“Holy shit,” Zayn croaked to the ceiling. He heard Liam give a hoarse laugh in reply and he tilted his head up to see that Liam had staggered backwards to the couch and was now lying with his legs spread carelessly. Zayn let his head thump back on the floor, squirming a bit to get more comfortable on the wood. 

“Zayn, do you want me to like, carry you to bed or something?” Zayn let out a grunt and he closed his eyes, waiting for Liam’s hands to slide underneath his body. He waited. And waited. And waited.

“So is that a yes?”

Zayn huffed, too exhausted to feel truly annoyed. “Yes, Liam.”

He heard footfall approach him and then hands were under him, lifting him up from the floor. He cuddled into Liam’s chest, finding that inhaling Liam’s scent, though now with a tinge of sweat, was rather tranquil.

He kept his eyes closed even when Liam had gently placed him on the bed, tugged his come-stained jeans off, and cleaned him up with a warm flannel, almost as if this was a normal thing that happened. He rolled over onto his side, looking to sleep for an eternity and a half, and he wasn’t aware that Liam had also climbed onto the bed until an arm was fitted underneath Zayn’s torso and the other was slung around his waist.

Zayn shifted back so that he was pressed against Liam’s front and he giggled inwardly at the feeling of Liam’s spent dick twitching on his lower back. 

“Didn’t feel like wearing any pants?” Zayn asked, though he already knew the answer. 

“Well, yes.” 

Zayn went to smack at Liam’s arm and found that it was bare, along with the torso that it was lying on. “Wait, are you naked?”

Liam had smushed his face into the back of Zayn’s neck and he felt him nod, arms taught around Zayn. The puffs of air leaving Liam’s lips were making goose bumps rise along Zayn’s arms, though it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.

“Ya know, I’ve never actually done this before you.” 

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows as he went over Liam’s words. “Do you mean the blowjob?”

Liam burrowed his face into Zayn’s neck and Zayn could feel the heat of Liam’s glowing cheeks on his skin. “Well, yes, but I mean, like, the spooning thing.”

“Wait, you’ve never gotten a blowjob before?” Liam remained silent. “I won’t think any different of you if you haven’t.”

Liam exhaled, ruffling the hairs at the base of Zayn’s neck. “I haven’t really had a relationship and I don’t do one night stands either. So… no, I haven’t ever had a blowjob. Sad, isn’t it? I’m 28 and I haven’t gotten sucked off.”

Zayn snickered at the melancholy tone Liam’s voice took on, but he stopped at the sound of a sniff behind him. “Liam, it’s totally okay,” he soothed, petting Liam’s veined hand with a finger. “You don’t need to cry about it.”

Liam snorted with laughter and Zayn turned in Liam’s arms to scowl at him. “Mate, I was totally kidding.” At the look at Zayn’s face, he quickly added, “I mean, about the crying thing. But yeah, everything else is true.”

Zayn pursed his lips, waiting for Liam to say something else. He didn’t and instead of pursuing the subject any farther, he cuddled into Liam’s chest, and Liam’s finger absentmindedly traced shapes on the back of Zayn’s shoulder. 

“So, why exactly are you out here in the middle of nowhere?” Zayn asked, curious. He had been pondering this question for a while now, but he couldn’t seem to think of anything that Liam could possibly be doing while being inside all day.

“It’s a long story,” Liam mumbled, clearly ill at ease with Zayn’s query.

Zayn moved out of Liam’s arms and sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed, settling in. “I still want to hear it.” Liam sighed exasperatedly and he turned over onto his side, propping his head up with a hand.

“Uh, well, I used to be a truck driver,” Liam began, sounding almost ashamed. “I went to uni for a while, but I ended up dropping out when I found out that my sister got into a car crash. She ended up um,” Liam gulped and to Zayn’s dismay, his eyes were looking shiny, “she ended up becoming paralysed from the neck down. She can still talk, but she can’t do much of anything else.”

Zayn couldn’t look Liam in the eyes, not without tearing up. “God, Liam… I’m so sorry.”

Liam waved a hand at Zayn. “We’ve all gotten used to it. It’s been almost seven years and Ruth’s okay; well, as okay as she will ever be.”  
Zayn watched as Liam wiped at his eyes with the edge of his palm. “Sorry, it’s still a bit hard to talk about. But anyways, after that, I took up a job as a truck driver and I lived on the road for three years. I was 24 when I ended up quitting and about a year later I was here.”

Zayn nodded slowly. “So do you have any other family besides Ruth?”

“Yeah. I have my mum, Karen, my dad, Geoff, and my other sister, Nicola. Both my sisters are older than me.” Liam fell silent before asking, “What about your family?”

“I have three sisters and their names are Doniya, Waliyha, and Safaa. Doniya’s older than me, but the other two are younger. My _baba’s_ name is Yaser and my mum’s name is Trisha.”

Zayn laughed quietly as a sudden memory came to mind, back from when he had his first girlfriend. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell Liam about one of his exes, but Liam needed some cheering up. 

“When I was 15, my ex-girlfriend and I had decided that we would go over to the local park at three in the morning, just because. I remember being so, so tired because I hadn’t been able to go to sleep for ages. When she woke me up by throwing rocks at my window, I was reluctant to go, but she had promised that there would be some ‘fun’ things to do. By fun, I thought she meant that we were going to make out underneath the stars or some shit.” 

Zayn waited, gauging Liam’s reaction, and Liam nodded for him to continue, oddly placid. 

“Her idea of fun was ghost hunting. At three in the morning. _Ghost hunting_. I told her that it was stupid and she got offended and she ended up crying, only for me to find out later, after I gave in, that she was faking it just to make me feel bad,” Zayn paused, “just like what you were doing earlier.” Zayn smiled softly, nostalgia beginning to flood in. 

It truly was a fond memory. Perrie had been an amazing girlfriend and friend. It was just too bad that things ended the way they did, what with her moving across the world to go to university, and Zayn’s desire to stay put in their hometown. They still talked every so often, but lately it had become less and less because Perrie couldn’t find the time to talk. It was rather sad, actually.

His tale seemed to have had an effect on Liam as his features had brightened. “Yeah, I actually remember doing that with my ex-" Liam stopped, mouth still hanging open as if he was going to say more, but he snapped it shut as he locked eyes with Zayn. “Uh, my, executive manager. Yeah, I went ghost hunting with him a lot back in the day.”

Zayn shot him an incredulous look. “Your executive manager? You’re telling me that you went ghost hunting with your executive manager?” 

By then, Liam was looking adorably flustered and he started babbling, but Zayn couldn’t help but wonder what Liam was going to say before. Had Liam been lying when he said that he hadn’t had a relationship? Or was it something else that he wasn’t telling Zayn?

Zayn had long since stopped listening to Liam’s ramblings as he contemplated. Two fingers suddenly appeared an inch in front of his face and a loud snapping noise was emitting from them. “Earth to Zayn, hello.”

“Liam, what were you really going to say before?” Zayn asked bluntly, cutting right to the chase.

Liam blanched and he began wringing his hands, a nervous habit that Zayn had noticed over the past month or so. “I think that’s a story for another time. Remind me in a few weeks, yeah?”

“Liam-"

“It’s really late, Zayn. We should get to sleep.” Before Zayn had a chance to say anything else, Liam had turned on his side, facing away from Zayn, and was snoring too loud to be real. Zayn shook his head and covered himself and Liam with the duvet, turning towards Liam’s back. He moulded himself to Liam’s frame, once again noticing that they seemed to fit together perfectly, and threw an arm around Liam’s waist, pulling him closer. 

“Another time, huh?” Zayn breathed before pressing his face against Liam’s back, exhaustion quickly taking over and then he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do seem to end chapters a lot with them sleeping, but it doesn't seem right to go onto something completely different within the same chapter, ya know?
> 
> Anyways, I hope the blowjob scene was hot as hell and I also apologize for any mistakes as I didn't go over it and proofread.


	7. Aspiration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn's confused and Liam's just trying to help.

“Liam, how long has it been since you found me?”

They were sitting side by side with their thighs pressed snuggly against each other and the fire was roaring in the hearth; both Zayn and Liam had healthy flushes in their cheeks from the heat. Sasha was on the other side of Zayn and he was stroking her with his right hand while Liam held his left, occasionally playing with it. 

“Why do you ask?” Liam said absentmindedly as he watched his and Zayn’s fingers tangle together.

“’Cause I don’t even have any idea what the date is,” Zayn replied. Liam barely felt Zayn’s dubious gaze burn his scalp as he continued staring at Zayn’s fingers, marvelling over how long and thin they were and how the nails were perfectly trimmed and clean. Liam glanced at his own fingers and made a face – there was dirt caked underneath his fingernails and he had never really liked how thick his fingers were, and-

“Liam!” Zayn snapped and Liam looked up, shocked at Zayn’s sudden outburst.

“Yeah?” 

Zayn sighed loudly. “What is the date?”

Liam wasn’t even all that sure. The days all seemed to blur into one; months could have passed and he wouldn’t have noticed. 

He let go of Zayn’s hand and stood up, walking over to where the calendar was pinned on the wall in the kitchen. The first thing he noticed when he came up to it was that it was on the completely wrong month, so he flipped through it until he came upon the page with the picture of a beautiful cabin, much like his own, surrounded by pearly-white snow. _I think it’s a Tuesday_ , he thought, and his eyes scanned the page, searching for the number that was determine the date.

According to the calendar, the date of today was the 22nd of December, only three days before Christmas. Liam usually didn’t celebrate Christmas – he treated it like any other day in the winter. Now that Zayn was here, though, he wasn’t really sure how he was going to spend the day. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Zayn actually celebrated Christmas. 

“It’s December 22nd,” Liam called over his shoulder, pinning the calendar back in place on the wall after taking it down to change to the correct month. 

“Holy shit.” The shock in Zayn’s voice had Liam turning around, concerned. Zayn was staring into the hearth, his body leaning forward with his hands clasped together on his lap. The haunted expression in Zayn’s eyes was what had Liam rushing over to Zayn, quickly dropping to his knees and taking Zayn’s hands in his own.

“Zayn? Babe, talk to me,” Liam urged, squeezing at Zayn’s cold fingers. He relaxed a little when Zayn responded by squeezing him back, albeit rather weakly, but it was better than nothing.

“It’s been almost two months since I last saw my family,” Zayn admitted, voice cracking with emotion. Liam wasn’t used to this side of Zayn – Zayn’s “badass” persona was truly only a ruse that Liam had discovered, but it wasn’t until today that Zayn had gotten this way, and Liam didn’t know how to react. He settled for rubbing his thumb along Zayn’s knuckles, letting Zayn know that he was there for him.

“I mean, I have gone months without speaking with them when I was travelling, but I usually let them know that I’m alive, usually by sending them gifts from the country I was visiting.” Zayn swallowed hard, finally looking up at Liam with his eyes brimming with tears. “Liam, they probably think I’m dead.”

“Zayn…” Liam got up from the ground and sat down next to Zayn, quickly wrapping him up into a tight hug, one of his hands resting on the back of Zayn’s head. Zayn’s stiff arms remained at his sides, almost as if he was afraid of breaking down in Liam’s arms. 

Liam pressed his mouth into Zayn’s shoulder, giving him a shallow kiss, and murmured, “You’re allowed to cry. No one’s here to judge you for it.”

Apparently that was the right thing to say, because then Zayn was openly weeping, his frame wracked with silent sobs as his salty tears stained the skin of Liam’s neck, and his fingers twisted into Liam’s shirt. 

Liam held Zayn until his cries dissolved into hiccups and his body stopped quaking. Liam had not noticed that Zayn had pressed so close to Liam that he had straddled him, but he was definitely noticing now as Zayn shifted above him. Liam laid his hands on Zayn’s shoulders and gently pushed him forward, eyes finding Zayn’s own red-rimmed ones.

What he didn’t expect was for Zayn to surge forward, fasten his lips to Liam’s, and grind his hips down over Liam’s half-hard cock. Liam blinked in surprise, but after a second he responded, placing his hands on Zayn’s hips and deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue into Zayn’s mouth. 

At the back of Liam’s mind, he knew that this was wrong. He was taking advantage of Zayn’s hysteria and he knew that if he didn’t stop now, he would regret it later on.

He ended the kiss, but Zayn went right for his neck and began sucking marks into it, his tongue coming out to soothe the blooming redness coming to the surface. Liam’s dick twitched and fattened up further, but he managed to grind out, “Zayn, we can’t do this right now. You’re upset and it just wouldn’t feel right.” Zayn pouted, but he nodded and slithered off of Liam’s lap, sitting down next to Liam, though one of his legs was still slotted in between Liam’s own legs. 

Zayn wiped the back of his hand across his eyes and sniffed. “Um, sorry. That was out of line.”

Liam reached for Zayn’s hand and intertwined their fingers together, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Zayn gnawed at his bottom lip, still slightly swollen from their brief kissing session, and sniffed once more, his eyes trained on his lap.

“Listen, Zayn,” Liam began, choosing his words carefully so as to not upset Zayn any further, “I completely understand what you’re going through right now. I’ve lived out in these woods for years with hardly any contact with family, except for the holiday cards I occasionally get from my parents.” Liam laughed bitterly. “Sometimes I think that they’ve forgotten about their only son.”

Zayn glanced up at Liam, a pained expression still on his face. “That’s really not making me feel better.”

“Shit, sorry,” Liam apologised, guilt flooding over him. 

“It’s okay,” Zayn soothed, as if he wasn’t the one that wasn’t just have a breakdown, his fingers tightening around Liam’s hand. “I guess it’s the same for me then, too. Like, for me, all this travelling around can make me forget about the people I left behind back home, you know?” Zayn’s eyes grew thoughtful. “The more I think about it, the more I think that the way I reacted was probably a bit dramatic. Sorry you had to see that.”

Liam waved him off. “It’s not a big deal. Well, I mean-” Liam trailed off as Zayn’s head cocked to the side. “I guess I was a bit freaked out when you got all emotional because in the two months that you’ve lived with me, I haven’t seen that side of you, and I had no idea how to comfort you.” Liam chewed on the inside of his cheek. “It really broke my heart.”

“Aww,” Zayn cooed, a tender smile curling his lips. “You really care about me, don’t you?”

Liam shrugged, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Yeah, I guess I do. I suppose that if I didn’t I would have thrown you out by now since you’re such a pain in the arse.”

Zayn pouted, affronted, though Liam suspected that Zayn was more flattered than anything, judging by the large grin that made him dimple adorably. “Hey, that’s not very nice!”

They sat there in silence, just smiling at each other, until Zayn cleared his throat and looked away, though Liam could see the corner of his mouth still tilted up. 

“So, um, I have a question to ask you,” Liam said suddenly and Zayn glanced at Liam, listening intently.

“You know how the date is the 22nd of December? That means that Christmas is coming up and, um, I know that Muslims don’t normally celebrate Christmas, but I do, so…” Liam wasn’t exactly sure where he was going with the question.

Zayn nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. When I was with family, we kind of just treated Christmas like another day, but-” Zayn gave a shy smile as he caught Liam’s eyes. “I’ll celebrate it with you, Leeyum.”

He felt deliriously happy with that response and his body reacted instantaneously, heating up with pleasure. He put a hand to his forehead, breathing out slowly.

“Holy shit, are you swooning?” 

Liam giggled girlishly and he immediately cut it off by slapping a hand to his mouth, his whole body going warm. Zayn looked on with an odd, tender expression Liam has never seen him use and he leaned forward, carefully prying Liam’s fingers away from his mouth so he could kiss him gently; just a brush of lips against each other. Liam felt like he was floating. _Is this what being in love is like?_ Liam thought as Zayn broke the kiss.

“So, what kind of activities do you have planned out?” Zayn waggled his eyebrows, suggesting what Liam had already been thinking. 

Liam snaked his arms around Zayn and tugged him into his lap. Zayn’s hands landed on Liam’s shoulders as he steadied himself, though Liam’s own were already resting on Zayn’s hips. Zayn bent his neck to get at Liam’s lips and one of his hands went to the back of Liam’s head, his fingers sifting through the shorter strands, bringing him closer. 

“I have quite a few things I’d like to do, actually,” Liam murmured into Zayn’s mouth, tightening his hold on Zayn’s hips.

\----

“You want to what?!”

Liam grinned widely at Zayn’s shocked exclamation and he held up a pair of ice skates, his own already on his feet, laces still untied. “Yeah, I want to go ice skating with you.”

It was Christmas Eve and for the majority of the past few days, they had done nothing except cuddle and get each other off every so often. It may have seemed boring to any other person, but with Zayn it was like something that Liam had never thought he would ever experience. 

Liam wasn’t completely sure, but it seemed as though Sasha had been leaving them alone, taking to sleeping in another room, almost as if she knew. It was a bit odd, but Liam had always underestimated the golden retriever. 

Zayn made a face and scoffed out, “I’ve never gone ice skating, Liam. Also, how am I even supposed to get those on? Your feet are enormous.” Liam chuckled and gestured for Zayn to sit. Zayn shot Liam a venomous glare and plopped down on the couch with a heavy sigh. 

“You know, if you continue making that face at me, it’ll get stuck like that,” Liam warned, slipping the skates on Zayn’s feet and lacing them up tightly before moving onto his own. He glanced up at Zayn and smiled cheekily. “Sound familiar?”

Zayn grunted in response and Liam laughed, getting up from the ground, wobbling a little on the thin blades. His heart nearly gave out at the thought of the floor getting deep gouges in it from the blades, but he immediately relaxed as he remembered that he had thick fabric covering them. 

Upon seeing the ice skates hanging from Liam’s hand from where he was lounging on the couch, Zayn had reminded him about how “spick and span” his wood floors were. Liam tilted his head to the side, bemused by Zayn’s words. Zayn rolled his eyes and said, “Your floors, Liam. Do you really want to scrape them up with the blades?” Liam had rewarded Zayn with a smooch and Zayn pushed Liam away, wiping at his mouth. “You’re gross,” Zayn told him, though Liam had seen a flush work its way up Zayn’s neck.

He brushed the dust off his knees and then held out a hand for Zayn. Zayn took it and got up, already beginning to fall backwards, but Liam grabbed him around the waist just in time. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, becoming pliant in Liam’s arms, and it was pretty clear that he wanted Liam to carry him.

“No, come on, Zayn,” Liam said, letting go of Zayn, but keeping one arm around him, just in case he fell again. “I’m not going to carry you.” They started to make their way to the door, Zayn gripping onto Liam for dear life. 

“Where are we going?” Zayn asked, sounding a bit nervous.

“There’s a frozen pond behind the cabin that we skate on,” Liam replied as they finally got to the door. 

“Wait, how are we going to do that? It’s not going to be smooth enough for us to skate on.” 

“That’s true, but every morning for the past week, while you’ve been sleeping, I’ve been going out and scraping off the excess ice because I’ve been planning on taking you out for a while.”

To Liam’s surprise, Zayn remained silent for the rest of the slow journey to the pond. For once, there was only a light snow falling from the sky – a perfect night for ice skating. 

“Well, you ready?” Liam asked. Upon hearing no response, he looked over at Zayn and saw him staring up at the full moon, a peculiar expression on his face. “Zayn?”

“Huh?” Zayn turned to look at Liam. “What’d you say?” 

Liam shook his head and instead of replying, he grabbed Zayn’s hand and pulled him onto the ice. Even though it had been a while since Liam had skated, he had no trouble staying upright, unlike Zayn, who toppled over onto his bum right away. Liam snorted and quickly got Zayn up, arm around Zayn’s shoulders, and Zayn was once again clinging onto Liam so as to not fall over. 

“Fuck, this is ridiculous,” Zayn grumbled, his legs shaking. After a while of just standing on the ice, waiting for Zayn to get used to it, Liam let go of Zayn and pulled Zayn’s fingers off of him. 

“No!” Zayn protested, fingers scrunching into Liam’s coat even as Liam skated backwards.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you, don’t worry,” Liam assured Zayn. “Just try to see if you can stay upright.” Zayn bobbed his head and let go of Liam’s coat, taking in a deep breath. After a few moments, he looked up at Liam and gave him a tiny smile.

“Okay, now we’re going to skate.” The smile dropped off his face to be replaced by a look of horror. Liam grabbed for Zayn’s gloved hand. 

“Don’t let go of me,” Zayn said quietly, his fingers twining with Liam’s. Liam felt his heart lurch at Zayn’s uttered words, but before he had a chance to think about what it meant, Zayn was pulling at Liam. “Come on, I want to try now.” 

“Okay, yeah, um, basically you skate diagonally across the ice, like so.” He let go of Zayn’s hand and demonstrated what he meant before skating back to Zayn and taking his hand again. “Do you want me to hold your hand or do you want to try it on your own?”

“Um, I’ll try it on my own, if that’s okay.” Liam nodded and glided about 20 feet in front of Zayn, ready to catch him if need be.

“I’ll be here just in case,” Liam called to him. Zayn pursed his lips, determined, and began, his skates wobbling under his weight. It probably didn’t help that they were a little big for Zayn, but Liam had tried his best to make the laces as tight as possible.

Zayn’s face broke out into a wide smile as he skated forward towards Liam. “Look, Liam, I’m doing it!” he yelled triumphantly, only for him to teeter to the side a few feet away from Liam.

Liam quickly skated to him and caught him, a hand under his back and another under his knees, and the weight of Zayn in his arms had them sprawling on the ground, Zayn half in Liam’s lap and half on the ice.

“Ow, I think I hit my head,” Liam groaned, pressing two fingers to the side of his head and wincing. “Are you okay-?”

Zayn was staring up at Liam, his mouth slightly parted and his eyes were warm, reflecting the light of the stars above them. Zayn cupped Liam’s cheek and pressed his lips to Liam’s, his eyes fluttering closed. It was nice as always, but there was something new there that Liam couldn’t quite figure out, but whatever it was, his body was thrumming with heat that wasn’t desire or lust, it was-

Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Sorry it's been sooo long since I've last updated. I've been pretty unmotivated to write, so that's why this chapter wasn't out earlier.
> 
> I also have a question for you readers: do you like the bickering between Liam and Zayn? I know Zayn is a bit of an ass, but Liam finds it rather endearing. I dunno, like it's a little OOC, but... yeah, I don't know. I kind of have a plan to have Zayn act a little less mean to Liam later, for probably obvious reasons, but... yeah. Let me know what you think.
> 
> We're coming to the end!! Only two more chapters left and then the tenth chapter will be the epilogue.


	8. Tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas time.

“Liam, Liam, wake up!”

Zayn heard a groan from where Liam’s face was pressed into the pillow and he watched as Liam rolled over, glaring with bleary eyes at Zayn. 

“Zayn, it’s like five in the morning. Shut up and come back to bed,” he grumbled, pulling the duvet up over his head. Zayn tiptoed over to the side Liam was on and flicked his exposed nose, giggling quietly as Liam sneezed. Zayn walked back over to the doorway and stuck his head out, whistling for Sasha. She breezed past him and jumped up on the bed, landing fully on Liam’s stomach.

“For God’s sake, Sasha,” Liam groaned, but that only earned him a lick on his forehead. Zayn snickered as Liam sat up in bed, propping himself against the headboard, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. “Did you put her up to this?”

“I might have,” Zayn sang, grinning widely. He toyed with the edge of the large sweater he was wearing, feeling a bit ridiculous in the colourful get-up. He found it while rifling through Liam’s drawers a few days beforehand and he had felt almost drawn to it, so he decided that he would wear it upon the morning of Christmas Day, hoping that Liam would notice.

Sure enough, the corners of Liam’s eyes crinkled and he stood up, crossing the room over to Zayn, stopping just before him.

“Is that my jumper?” he asked, reaching out to touch the wool.

“Yeah,” Zayn replied, eyes following Liam’s movements. Liam’s hand continued to pet at the sleeve of the jumper, steadily moving upwards to where he eventually began caressing Zayn’s jawline with gentle fingertips. Zayn leaned into the touch, not even bothering to curse inwardly at himself for how soft he’s become for this man. 

Ever since that night that Liam had taken Zayn out ice-skating, something had broken inside Zayn – something that had melted the remaining ice encasing his heart. It wasn’t until Liam had carried him to bed that same night, Zayn dozing in his arms, that he realised what it was.

Zayn was in love with Liam and he had learned long ago that there was little point in denying the inevitable – Liam was a dream that Zayn had no desire to wake up from.

“So, is there anything in particular that you want to do today?” Liam asked, taking his fingers away from Zayn’s jaw.

Zayn shrugged. “Not really. To be honest, I just want spend the day in bed with you.”

The corner of Liam’s mouth twitched and he grasped at Zayn’s hand, his fingers slotting in. “I would love to do that, but first I have to go get some more wood since there isn’t much left.”

Zayn nodded, crestfallen that Liam wouldn’t be with him for a few hours, but he perked up as an idea popped into his head. “Can I help? Lumberjacking sounds like fun.”

“Lumberjacking?” Liam echoed, then laughed. “If that’s your word for cutting down trees and chopping them up, then yes.” 

Zayn smacked Liam’s arm playfully with his free hand. “Hey, don’t make fun of me! You know what I mean.” Zayn looked out the window and was pleased to find that the sky was free of clouds and a crystalline blue, while also promising a full day of clear skies. Zayn glanced back at Liam to find him looking at Zayn with a soft, close-lipped smile and barely-crinkled eyes.

“Your fond is showing,” Zayn teased, poking the corner of Liam’s mouth with his pointer. He gasped when Liam grabbed his hand, still staring at Zayn, and gave the finger that touched Liam a small, feather-light kiss. Zayn snatched his hand away, blushing furiously, though Liam seemed unperturbed by Zayn’s reaction.

“C-C’mon,” Zayn stuttered, finally breaking eye contact with Liam. “We should go now while the sun is actually still up.” He took Liam’s coat and hat off the hanger and handed them to Liam, noticing, to his irritation, that his hands were slightly tremulous. 

“You okay?” Liam asked, concern lacing his tone. “You’re shaking.”

Zayn shook his head and plastered a too-bright grin on his face. “I’m fine. Just a little chilly, is all.” Liam stared at him for a moment longer and to Zayn’s relief, he shrugged and began slipping on his winter clothing. 

Before they headed out with Sasha at the lead, Liam grabbed his axe and the two-handled saw for when they got to a larger tree. 

“That looks proper dangerous,” Zayn commented, eyes widening appreciatively as he took it in. Liam shrugged nonchalantly, hauling his axe over his shoulder and letting the saw hang loosely from his hand. 

While they were walking, Zayn took the time to side-eye Liam and check him out. Even through the heavy winter clothing he had on Zayn knew, from his own observations, that Liam was heavily muscled and had a generous amount of hair on his abdomen and chest. Zayn couldn’t say that he was into that, but with Liam- well, he was into Liam in general.

Zayn was so busy fantasizing about what Liam could do with his giant hands that he didn’t notice that said man had stopped and Zayn had continued to stride on.

“Zayn, back here.” Zayn spun around and saw Liam grinning at him, his hip resting against the thick trunk of a marton oak. “What were you doing?”

 _Thinking about your fingers in me._ “Uh, nothing.” 

Liam raised a questioning eyebrow, but Zayn didn’t give him the time to contemplate as he jogged over and grabbed the free handle of the saw. “Let’s get going with this.”

“Babe, this tree is far too big for us to cut,” Liam laughed. “I was just waiting to see when you would realise that I had stopped.”

Zayn scrunched his nose up. “Fine. What’s the best tree to cut down for firewood then?” 

“Well, any would do, really. Just not the thick ones like this.” Liam glanced around, concentration evident in the furrow of his bushy eyebrows. “How about that one?” He pointed and Zayn followed his line of sight to see a much thinner, smaller tree. “That’s an Appleton thorn tree. Though it’s rather small, it bears enough for at least two weeks’ worth of firewood.” 

Zayn nodded, carefully going over Liam’s words in his mind. “How do you even know what these trees are called? It’s winter and they’re kind of hard to distinguish in general.”

Liam dragged a gloved finger down the Appleton’s trunk. “When you’ve lived out here for as long as I have, it’s hard not to get associated with the different types of trees there are.” Liam sounded wistful and Zayn felt a pang in his chest. 

“You must miss your family,” Zayn murmured. He bit his bottom lip as he was hit, once again, with the knowledge that he hadn’t had contact with his parents or sisters for months and it constantly felt like someone had shoved a thorn into the centre of his heart.

Liam shook his head hard, as if clearing his brain of cobwebs, and began walking towards the tree. Zayn wanted to question Liam about his contact with the outer world, but Liam made it clear that he didn’t want to delve deeper into the subject. Out of respect, Zayn kept his mouth shut, and he followed Liam to the tree.

“Okay, so you get on the other side of the trunk and grab the handle of the saw,” Liam instructed. Zayn positioned himself adjacent to Liam and took hold of the saw, noting that it wasn’t as heavy as he had originally thought. On the other hand, Liam had the strength of a horse, so he was probably holding most of the weight.

“Now we’re going to cut the tree using a sawing motion – when I push forward, you pull backward, and so on. Think you got it?” 

Zayn nodded – it seemed simple enough. Liam tugged the saw towards the trunk so the teeth began to dig into the bark. Liam began to push forward and Zayn pulled backwards and they soon picked up speed, cutting halfway through the trunk in ten minutes. Zayn had begun to sweat five minutes in and he felt the sweat beading at his temples immediately freeze on his skin.

“Once we cut all the way through, we’ll have to take a step back and be sure it’s falling away from us.” Zayn grunted in response, too exhausted to properly reply, when a sharp cracking sound echoed. He glanced up, mouth open in awe as the tree began to tilt. 

“Zayn, move out of the way!” Liam yelled, clamping his hand around Zayn’s bicep and tugging him out of the tree’s path. A few seconds later the tree came down, landing with a thump onto the snow, right where Zayn had been moments earlier.

“Holy shit,” Zayn breathed. Liam still had his fingers curled protectively around Zayn’s arm and it was only when Zayn had tried to move away that Liam finally let go. 

“Zayn, you could have _died_ ,” Liam choked out, as if he couldn’t even bear the thought. Despite the fact that he had been moments away from being flattened by a falling tree, he felt a warm glow start in his chest at Liam’s words.

“I’m still alive though, aren’t I?”

Liam pursed his lips. “Let’s just get this back home, yeah?” Liam began to drag the tree back towards the cabin, hardly puffing with the effort. 

Zayn didn’t think much of Liam’s choice of words until they had gotten the tree to the stump where Liam hacked off chunks of the tree for firewood. When he did think of it, he stopped short. _What does he mean by ‘back home’? Does he mean that it’s my home as well now?_

\----

“Well, that was fun!” Zayn huffed as he and Liam hauled in the rest of the logs to dry. He quickly shed off his winter clothing and collapsed on the couch, letting out a long sigh of relief as the throbbing in his lower back eased. His eyes fluttered shut as he settled in for a nap. 

Something tickled his nose and he rubbed at it, though as soon as he put his hand down, the tickling sensation returned. “What the hell?” 

Liam had a mistletoe hanging from his fingers and he had been lowering it just until the bottom of it touched Zayn’s nose. “Please tell me you know what mistletoe is used for,” Liam said cheekily. He jiggled it pointedly and a leaf fell off, landing on Zayn’s forehead. He picked it off and threw it at Liam.

“I’m too tired to kiss you right now,” Zayn told him, trying not to feel guilty at the disappointment clouding Liam’s face. He rolled over on his side, facing away from Liam and his damn mistletoe. He heard Liam get up from the ground and he snuggled in a bit closer to the couch, thinking that Liam had gone away to sulk. 

He was wrong, of course.

Sasha jumped on Zayn and Zayn squawked as she began licking all over his face, her tail wagging happily. “Get off, Sasha,” he grunted, pushing her until she was at his feet instead of on top of him. She settled down on top of his feet, but he found that he didn’t mind it much, as her thick fur kept them warm.

“Liam!” Zayn yelled, irritated that Liam had set his dog on him, though perhaps it was in revenge for Zayn doing it to Liam that morning.

The mistletoe was hanging over Zayn’s face, once again, by Liam. “Now will you kiss me?” Liam asked innocently. 

“God’s sake, fine.” Zayn stood up and grabbed the sides of Liam’s face, pulling him until their lips collided rather painfully. He took a step back and glanced at Liam, amused to find him looking rather dazed, even though the kiss lasted only a second.

“There, happy?” Zayn plopped back down on the sofa, this time fully intent on sleeping. He felt the couch dip from beside him as Liam sat down, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Let me at least give you a shoulder rub – I feel kind of bad for forcing you to kiss me,” Liam said suddenly. Zayn sighed heavily and he shifted so he was sitting on the floor in between Liam’s legs. He nearly moaned aloud at the first stroke of Liam’s hands touching his aching shoulders. 

“You must not be used to the strenuous work involved in living out in the wilderness,” Liam commented as he worked out the knots. Zayn’s head lolled onto his chest as the tension in his shoulders dissipated at each press of Liam’s palms against him. 

“You have magical fingers,” Zayn slurred and he heard Liam chuckle from behind him. He began to doze, his eyes drooping, but then Liam took his hands off.

“No, Leeyum, keep going,” Zayn whined childishly, though Liam didn’t put his hands back on Zayn’s shoulders. “If you aren’t going to, then carry me to bed.”

He could almost hear Liam rolling his eyes. “Yes, Your Highness.” 

Zayn felt Liam’s hands slide under his arms and he was pulled up into a standing position, though he leaned heavily against Liam anyways. He let out a girlish squeal as Liam picked him up and carried him bridal style to the bedroom. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and held on for dear life, believing that he was going to be dropped unceremoniously, much like the first time Liam had carried Zayn.

This time, however, Liam laid Zayn down gently on top of the covers and got onto the bed with him on the other side of Zayn. Zayn scooted over so his body was pressed along the length of Liam’s, comforted by his warmth. “I didn’t mind the mistletoe,” Zayn said quietly. Liam didn’t reply, though Zayn wasn’t really expecting him to. Liam’s fingers threaded into Zayn’s hair and Zayn hummed in content, eventually falling asleep with Liam tenderly stroking his skin, murmuring sweet nothings into Zayn’s ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out; I actually meant to have this done by Christmas. Oops!
> 
> Edit: ALSO my friend did a thing in her Sims 4 game where she recreated the cabin that Liam and Zayn live in. Check it out [here](http://digitaldeceit.tumblr.com/post/109698766961/zaayn-so-marissa-has-this-fic-where-liam-is-a)!!


	9. Relentless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn presses and Liam cracks.

The first thing Liam noticed when he woke up was that his entire body felt like it was encased in ice. He shivered violently and went to bring the duvet up and over his head, but his hand closed over nothing. Bemused, his eyes moved over the mattress and saw that he was completely alone in his bed with nothing except himself and the sheets he was lying on. 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and inhaled as his foot made contact with a warm body. He looked down and saw Zayn on the floor, completely wrapped up in the duvet plus some, his mop of black hair the only part of him visible. Liam clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. 

_Zayn must have fallen off the bed during our nap_ , Liam thought, giggling quietly as he stepped over Zayn’s sleeping frame. He stood there, contemplating on whether to pick Zayn up as carefully as possible and placing him on the bed, or to just leave him there on the floor. As Liam listened to Zayn’s even breathing, he wasn’t even sure if Zayn was actually sleeping or if he was just too lazy to get up. He bent down to inspect and had to stifle another giggle as Zayn opened his mouth and let out a loud snore.

_Well, that answers my question._

Liam went to his closet and grabbed the fluffiest, softest duvet he could find and padded back over to Zayn. He laid down on the floor behind Zayn and snaked an arm over Zayn’s torso before throwing the blanket over himself and tucking it underneath Zayn’s stomach. Zayn mumbled something unintelligible and Liam started a bit as Zayn’s warm fingers slid over Liam’s cold hand. 

“Zayn?” Liam whispered, thinking that Zayn had woken up. He was proven wrong as Zayn heaved a long, drawn out sigh and began snoring again, albeit much quieter this time around. Liam snuggled closer to Zayn’s warmth, feeling a wave of relief as his limbs began to unfreeze. His eyelids began to droop and he fell back into a dreamless slumber.

\----

“Leeeeeeyuuuumm.”

Liam’s eyes popped open to find Zayn’s face an inch above his own with a Cheshire-like grin spreading his lips.

“Wha-” 

Zayn bent his head down and gave Liam a quick peck before speeding away, leaving Liam bewildered and his lips slightly tingly. Liam shrugged his confusion away and got up, groaning a bit as his spine cracked. _Fuck, my back is killing me,_ he thought with a wince as he stepped out of the blanket cocoon. _Probably from sleeping on the hard floor, or maybe I’m just getting old._

He paused mid yawn as he passed through the doorway and saw Zayn drag in a small tree from outside. His heart lurched at the realisation that the tree was most likely scratching his wood floors to hell. 

“Zayn, the tree is going to gouge out my fucking floors,” he said, more amused than annoyed as he watched Zayn huff and puff as he finally got the tree through the doorframe.

“Shit, sorry. I probably should have waited until you were up to help me out,” Zayn rasped, bent over with his hands on his knees while he caught his breath. He straightened and smiled widely at Liam. “I cut this down myself!” 

Liam nodded approvingly as he looked the tree over; it was small, only about four feet tall, but Zayn had cut through it cleanly. 

“It’s our Christmas tree!” Zayn stated proudly, sounding and looking much like a little kid that had just gotten their first A grade. 

“I didn’t think that we were going to have a Christmas tree, actually,” Liam replied absentmindedly as he thought of where he had put the Christmas decorations from the last time he had a tree – when he had been married to Sophia.

“I already found the decorations,” Zayn said as if he had read Liam’s thoughts. 

“How did you-?”

“I’ve lived with you and only you for three and a half months, Liam.” Zayn dragged out a large bin that Liam hadn’t seen previously from behind him. “It’s not very hard to tell what you’re thinking.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “If you can figure out what I’m thinking about, do you know-” Liam bit down hard on his bottom lip, not wanting to blurt out anything he would later regret. 

Zayn stopped rummaging through the bin and looked up at Liam, genuine curiosity in his brown eyes. Liam waved a hand at him, feigning indifference. “Don’t mind what I just said. Let’s just get these decorations out, yeah?”

Zayn nodded and got back to work, his dark eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he picked through the bin. Liam set to work on putting the tree up, first grabbing the tree stand that Zayn had found, then he picked up the tree and stuck the trunk in it.

“Hey, Zayn? I need you to screw in the bolts so the tree stays up,” Liam called out over his shoulder. He heard shuffling as Zayn slid over and began putting in the bolts. 

“Done,” he heard Zayn say from below him. Liam stepped back and tilted his head to the side, checking to see that the tree had been put in correctly. It was perfectly straight and Liam grunted in satisfaction.

“What the fuck is that?!” Liam’s head whipped around to find Zayn scurrying backwards, his eyes widened in horror as he stared at the bin. Liam stepped closer to the bin, interested in seeing what had spooked Zayn so bad. 

“Hang on-“ He reached in, coughing a little as dust rose up, and brought out a plastic spider that, to Zayn’s credit, did look real. “Is this what you were freaked out by?”

“How are you even holding it?!” Zayn yelped, eying Liam and the fake spider.

Liam guffawed. “It’s not even real, mate.” 

Zayn’s expression of terror faded as he continued to stare at the spider. “Oh.”

Liam’s eyes shifted from the spider to Zayn, back and forth, then he flung it at Zayn, who squealed and pressed his back up against the wall. “Leeyum!” Zayn picked it up by the tip of his fingers and threw it to the side before getting up and straddling Liam’s lap, going in for a tickling session. 

Liam giggled and thrashed around, trying to get away from Zayn’s fingertips dancing across his abdomen and his neck. “We’re never going to get the tree decorated!” he managed to gasp out. Zayn ceased his assault and leaned back, sliding off Liam and crawling back over to the bin of Christmas decorations.

“There’s no chance of there being an actual spider in here, right?” Zayn asked, even though he was already sifting through various decorations and putting them beside him. Liam bent down and picked up a small box of decorations, blowing off the dust and then beginning to put them on the Christmas tree. Zayn eventually stood up with his own box and went to the other side of the tree. They worked in silence until about half the tree was covered with all kinds of ornaments that ranged from homemade to sparkly bulbs that seemed to light up the entire tree.

“Hey Liam?” 

Liam peeked his head around the tree to look at Zayn. “Yeah?”

“We’re both getting pretty gross, so maybe after we finish we could take a shower together. Maybe a bath?” Zayn sounded hopeful.

“Sounds kind of romantic, don’t you think?” Liam teased, tone light. 

Zayn stuck his lower lip out. “Is that a no?”

Liam shook his head fondly, watching as Zayn’s pout turned into a full-blown grin. Christ, it truly was insane how far gone he was for him.

He spread his arms out. “Come here.” Zayn obeyed and crawled over, settling himself on Liam’s upper thighs. 

“What’s with you and sitting on laps?” Liam asked, smoothing a hand down the length of Zayn’s back. Zayn shuddered and put his hands on top of Liam’s shoulders, steadying himself.

“I don’t know, I just do, I guess.” Zayn’s eyes connected with Liam’s and he saw an intense yearning in its depths. He swallowed down a sudden lump in his throat as he shifted uncomfortably, breaking eye contact. Zayn stuck a finger under Liam’s chin and lifted it up, his golden gaze searching, probing Liam.

Liam felt Zayn’s warm breath puff across his mouth and then Zayn’s lips were on him. Liam closed his eyes and let Zayn push him down until he was lying on top of him, his hips slowly grinding into Liam’s, sending arousal shooting through his veins.

Liam’s hands slid underneath Zayn’s trousers and boxers, and he felt more than heard Zayn moan into his mouth as Liam’s palms cupped his arsecheeks. Liam’s breath was coming out in harsh pants and he had gotten almost embarrassingly hard as soon as Zayn’s mouth had fastened to his.

Liam’s brain short-circuited as Zayn began sucking a bruise into his birthmark on the side of his neck, his thumbs kneading at the sharp indents marking Liam’s hipbones underneath his shirt. 

“Zayn,” Liam managed to gasp out as Zayn nosed at his neck, the very tip of his tongue tracing patterns across his skin. “Remember the bath?”

Zayn immediately stopped and slithered off Liam when he had taken his hands out of Zayn’s pants. Liam slowed his breathing, willing his heartrate to go down at least a little bit before he stood. Zayn was still lying on the floor, his jeans slung low on his hips from Liam’s apparent tugging, along with a peek of his midriff. Liam lazily swept his gaze along Zayn’s form, taking it in, until his eyes landed on Zayn’s face. Zayn was smirking, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. Liam groaned loudly.

“As much as I want to go back to making out with you,” Liam said roughly, his voice pitched an octave lower, “I’ll be right back. Don’t come in the bathroom until I say you can.”

Zayn nodded and as Liam turned away, he felt Zayn’s eyes on his back. As soon as he got to the bathroom door, he quickly shut it and locked it before pressing his palm against his cloth-covered cock. 

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered aloud. He took in a deep breath and proceeded to the cabinet where the small, unscented taper candles were. He wasn’t completely sure where or even when he had stocked the cabinet with them, but that act he made however long ago served him well as he began taking them out. 

After a while, he had set them all over the bathroom, including half of them sitting rather precariously on the edges of the tub. He swiped a match and lit all the candles so that a warm, pleasant glow lit up the entirety of the room. He flicked off the light switch and was satisfied at the amount of light the candles emanated. 

Doing a quick sweep of the room after he had filled the tub to the brim with hot water, he unlocked the door and called out for Zayn, who came to him seconds later. 

“Your bath awaits,” Liam said, stepping aside and gesturing for Zayn to go in.

Liam heard a gasp come from within the bathroom and he ambled his way in to stand behind Zayn, who was staring at the candlelit bath.

“Liam, this is-” Zayn must have felt Liam’s presence behind him because he turned around, a shocked, but also delighted expression on his face. “This is so romantic.”

Liam did Zayn the favour of lifting Zayn’s shirt off him, displaying his tattoos – the glow from the candles lit them up so that they seemed to shine. Zayn looked absolutely heavenly.

Liam, mesmerised by Zayn’s ink sprawling across his body, didn’t notice that Zayn had slid his hands underneath Liam’s shirt and was trying to take it off until he felt a tug at his armpits. He focussed in on Zayn’s face and obediently lifted his arms up, not taking his eyes off Zayn.

They stood staring at each other until Zayn looked away, a pink flush working its way into his cheeks. “Leeyum, you’re making me self-conscious.”

Liam laughed lightly. “Sorry. You’re just really beautiful.”

Zayn pursed his lips to keep from smiling, clearly trying hard not to be to be as pleased as Liam knew he was by his compliment. Liam took a step forward and threaded his fingers into the belt loops of Zayn’s jeans and pulled them off, leaving Zayn in nothing but his – Liam’s – boxer briefs. 

“Your turn,” Zayn said quietly, nodding at Liam’s own trousers he had yet to take off. 

“Oh, yeah.” Liam quickly tugged them down along with his own boxers and stepped out of them so he was standing naked in front of Zayn. Zayn gave Liam a onceover and Zayn giggled nervously as Liam’s dick gave a weak twitch when Zayn’s gaze landed on it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you completely starkers before,” Zayn commented, finally taking off his pants.

“Same goes for me.” Liam snaked his arms around Zayn’s waist and pulled him into a kiss, groaning into Zayn’s mouth as he felt their cocks slide together. 

“I swear I’m going to come before we even get to the fucking bathtub,” Zayn mumbled against Liam’s lips. Liam chuckled and backed Zayn up until the back of his knees hit the edge of the tub. 

Liam let go of Zayn and gestured for him to get in. Zayn put his left leg in and hissed as the hot water made contact with his chilled skin, but he soon became accustomed to it as he submerged his entire body in the water. Liam followed soon after, sitting across from Zayn, their legs entangled with one another.

Liam dunked his head under the water, intent on getting actually clean. He came back up and ran a hand through his soaking wet hair, his eye catching Zayn with his mouth slightly ajar.

Liam smirked at him. “You alright there?”

Zayn shook his head slowly, his mouth still hanging open. “I am anything but okay.”

With that, Zayn moved forward until Liam could see droplets of water on Zayn’s long eyelashes. No longer able to take it anymore, he grasped the back of Zayn’s head with a wet hand and brought him into a kiss, one that had Zayn sliding forward until his entire body was flush against Liam’s.

The kiss deepened as the tip of Zayn’s tongue flicked at the seam of Liam’s lips and Liam parted them, letting Zayn’s tongue in to wind around his. Zayn’s hands went for Liam’s hair, his fingers tangling into the damp strands as he pressed his frame firmly against Liam’s, his erection wedging itself into the dip of Liam’s hipbone.

Liam tore himself away from Zayn’s lips to get a good look at the man before him: wide-eyed, irises swallowed up by his pupils, flushed from both arousal and the steam, black hair wild – the sight was everything Liam could never have imagined; yet it was here, right in front of him, in the form of Zayn.

“I want to make love to you,” he finally spoke.

“God, _yes_.”

Liam wasted no time in getting out of the tub, Zayn following soon after him. Liam went to open the door, but Zayn’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Hang on. I want to get ready.” Zayn stepped past him and sashayed his way to the door, his bare arse swaying from side to side. Liam aimed a quick slap at it and Zayn jumped, though he didn’t turn around to glare at Liam like he thought he would. Instead, he closed the bathroom door behind him, leaving Liam by himself.

A few minutes passed and Liam was beginning to get antsy. His cock was still hard as a rock and it took everything in him to not wrap a hand around himself to at least take some of the pressure off. He opened the door and stuck his head out, glancing around to see where Zayn was. 

“Close the door!”

Liam’s nose had barely slipped back in when the door slammed closed. Liam huffed, desperate to see what Zayn could have possibly been doing.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Liam heard his name being called and he opened the door, dashing out to where Zayn’s voice had come from.

What he found was a roaring fire in the hearth, a bottle of lube, and a very naked Zayn lying on his side on the bearskin rug.

If Liam wasn’t already sporting an erection, he would definitely have one now.

Liam felt a growl rise up in his throat as he walked over to where Zayn was, smirking knowingly as he made a “come here” gesture towards Liam. Liam obeyed, padding over to Zayn and immediately straddling him. He dipped his head to suck Zayn’s bottom lip in between his teeth. 

“Are you ready?” Liam asked when he pulled away, his eyes glued to Zayn as his chest rose and fell rapidly. Zayn gave a firm nod and grabbed the lube, passing it to Liam. 

Liam popped open the cap and slicked his fingers up, but not before he grabbed a pillow from the couch and pushed it underneath Zayn’s hips. He knelt beside Zayn and Liam watched Zayn’s face contort from pain to pleasure as he slid the first digit in.

“You okay?” Liam murmured, slowly pushing his finger in and out. Zayn squirmed and Liam could hear his breaths coming out in little moans.

“I’ve been fucked before, Liam,” Zayn croaked. “Add another one.”

Liam’s cock twitched at his words, but he complied and pressed in another finger next to the other one, picking up the pace. Zayn’s back arched as Liam curled his fingers inwards and Liam watched, fascinated, as the tip of his dick blurted out a bit of pre-come. 

He felt one of Zayn’s hands grasp at his bicep. “I’ve had enough prep,” Zayn said through clenched teeth. “J-just fuck me already.”

Instead of pulling his fingers out, Liam added another one and scissored Zayn open, watching as Zayn’s lips parted and his eyes fluttered closed.

He gnawed on his lips, focussing on the feel of Zayn’s hole clenching around his fingers. At a loud, drawn-out moan from Zayn as he nudged at his prostate once more, his dick seemed to pulse with his heartbeat.

Liam gulped and removed his fingers from Zayn, hearing Zayn whimper from the loss. Liam used the excess lube on his hands to rub on his cock, swallowing back a groan as he jerked himself a few times to cover himself.

It was only when he was poised at Zayn’s entrance that he remembered. “What about a condom?”

“No, I know you’re clean,” Zayn reassured him, wriggling forward just until the tip of Liam’s cock pressed into him. “Leeyum, come on.”

Liam slowly pushed into Zayn, rubbing soothing circles on Zayn’s hips with his thumbs, until he was fully sheathed inside Zayn’s heat. It took everything in him not to pull out and slam all the way back in, and his legs quivered with the effort. 

“You can move,” Zayn said, his voice hardly above a whisper. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Liam began at a steady, slow pace, terrified of hurting Zayn. 

Zayn looped his arms around Liam’s shoulders and his fingernails bit into his skin, urging Liam on. Liam picked up speed and he leaned down until his face was buried into the crook of Zayn’s neck. The steady slap of skin against skin was coupled with both Liam and Zayn’s breaths, gradually increasing in volume as they both neared the edge. 

Zayn was surprisingly vocal as he kept letting out mewls and whimpers along with little, broken praises for Liam whenever he hit his prostate at just the right angle. The familiar, curling pleasure in Liam’s lower stomach was close to becoming unravelled, and he grabbed the backs of Zayn’s thighs, hoisted him up, and pushed his legs until they were parallel with Zayn’s body. Zayn convulsed underneath Liam, tears beginning to form in his eyes and gather at the corners, his long eyelashes becoming clumped together.

Zayn spit out curse after curse as Liam rabbited into him, his pace unrelenting, but becoming less rhythmic as his orgasm neared. Zayn’s head shook back and forth, his mouth wide open, too overwhelmed to make any sound other than the occasional whine. 

Liam reached a hand between them and grasped Zayn’s cock, giving it a few solid jerks before Zayn keened, high and loud, and Liam felt Zayn’s hot come cover his belly and chest. He groaned as he gave a final shove into Zayn, shooting deep into him as he came.

They laid there in a come-covered heap, Liam too exhausted to pull out of Zayn. It was only when Zayn whimpered in discomfort that he did and he rolled over onto his side, his vision still blurred as he came out of his post-coital high.

He closed his eyes, feeling tired enough to fall asleep on the spot, when he felt an arm fling around his waist and a warm body cuddle up to him.

Zayn nuzzled the back of Liam’s neck. “Hi.”

A warm, fluttery feeling began in Liam’s chest, one that he didn’t think that he would ever feel again, not after-

“I’m divorced.”

Liam cursed under his breath when Zayn froze behind him, detangling himself from Liam. 

“What?” Zayn asked, his voice calm; far too calm for Liam. Liam sighed, grabbing the pillow that he had shoved underneath Zayn and laid it over his privates.

“Yeah, her name is Sophia.” Liam gestured for Zayn to come closer and Zayn hesitated, doubt flickering in his eyes, before finally crawling over and gingerly laying his head on the pillow situated on Liam’s lap. 

Liam’s fingers ached to thread into Zayn’s slightly damp hair, but from the reaction he got just from admitting that he had, in fact, been married- it was probably best if he kept his hands to himself.

“I was married to her for about ten months. We loved each other, but then she was kicking me out and telling me that she wanted a divorce.” Liam swallowed thickly – even after all these years, the memories were still seared into his brain like fresh wounds. “I think the problem was that we just weren’t in love and that wasn’t enough for either of us.”

Liam paused, waiting for Zayn to respond. Zayn remained silent and a tap of his finger on Liam’s thigh was what prompted Liam to go on.

“She also wanted a baby and I wasn’t ready. She was 20 and I was 22 – far too early for even to really be _thinking_ about having children. She had been my girlfriend for a little over three months and then I was actually told to pop the question by her parents.” Liam laughed bitterly, recalling how her father had pulled him aside and told him that it was “high time” to ask Sophia to marry him so that there wasn’t anyone left that had any “doubts” about him.

“There was an unspoken threat behind his words when he told me that. I knew that he knew that I had an inkling towards men and for some reason, he thought that outing me would ruin me forever. ‘There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to men,’ I remember saying to him. He just laughed and said that a poof like me wouldn’t get anywhere in life. I don’t know the reason why now, but at the time I took his words to heart and I proposed to Sophia over dinner the week after.”

Liam stared off into space, unaware that Zayn had gotten up and was in a sitting position across from him. “Anyways, ten months passed and she said that she couldn’t ‘take it anymore’ and told me to pack up my shit and get out of her house. Mind you, I had actually bought it for the two of us, but I chose not to get into a dispute over it with her – there was no point. 

“As I told you a month or so ago, my sister, Ruth, had gotten in a car crash around the same time that I had been engaged to Sophia. Despite what you probably think of her, she was incredibly caring, and probably still is. She held me when I cried out for my sister, who was going to be a vegetable for the rest of her life, and she reassured me that everything would be alright after I had to drop out of uni because I just couldn’t take the stress anymore. She even supported me when I got the job of being a truck driver, though she wasn’t exactly thrilled about me being gone a lot.”

Liam’s eyes misted and he wiped the back of his hand across them. “After the divorce, I wanted to get away from it all, but I didn’t want to be by myself. I went to a local humane society and picked out Sasha, who was about to be put down because she had been there for so long. She was only two years old at the time, yet she had spent half her life in the pound.” Liam smiled fondly. “As soon as I was shown into the room where the dogs were, I was drawn to her. She looked up at me with eyes filled with wisdom and love that was begging to be spread. She licked my hand and that was when I was sold. I adopted her and moved out to this cabin less than a month later. I’ve been here ever since.

“I was bullied when I was younger for no reasons at all and then I was bullied by my girlfriend’s own fucking father because he didn’t like the fact that I was attracted to men. I-I’ve never been with anyone else for more than half a decade and it’s been hard for me to learn to love again because of all this. It was only until I met you that I figured out that it was okay to be different, and that it’s okay to love.” Liam lifted his head up, staring directly into Zayn’s wide, brown, beautiful eyes.

“I’m in love with you and I want to be with you for as long as we’re both breathing, and beyond.”

Silence. 

Zayn continued to stare at Liam, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

Liam, feeling awkward beyond belief, decided to try and ease the tension. “Proper story for post-sex, huh?” He laughed nervously, his heart pounding so hard that he felt bile rise up in his throat as Zayn remained completely quiet.

“Zayn, come on, you’re killing me here,” Liam pleaded. 

“I-” Zayn began. “I have to go.”

 _No_. “What?”

“I-I went to the market and managed to get in a call to my family,” Zayn whispered hoarsely, scrambling up and quickly walking to the bedroom. Liam stood as well, not even caring one bit that he was still completely naked, and padded after Zayn. He stood stiffly by as Zayn shoved his legs into his – Liam’s, _fuck_ – jeans and then pulled on a shirt. 

“They said that they would meet me there in two days and those two days have already passed by.” Zayn finished speaking, his expression bleeding guilt. “I-It’s already been an hour and a half since they told me the time that they would meet me.”

_No. No. No._

“After what I just confessed? You’re fucking _leaving_?” Liam let the tears that had been threatening to fall during his story go and they flowed down his cheeks like little rivers. He didn’t care that he was red-faced, starkers, and positively filthy – he didn’t give a fuck. The only thing that he cared about the most in the fucking world was leaving and-

“A-Aren’t you in love with _me_?” Liam’s voice broke. Zayn wouldn’t meet his watery gaze as he grabbed the knapsack filled with items that Liam hadn’t even noticed before. “Tell me, Zayn. Tell me you’re in love with me. I-I know that you are.”

Zayn opened his mouth to reply, but apparently thought better of it as he pushed past Liam and into the living room. It made no difference to Liam that Zayn was taking Liam’s own clothing with him – everything in his house was Zayn’s – had been since the day Liam had carried Zayn in it.

“But if you lived here, you’d be home,” Liam whispered. Liam heard a heavy sob come from Zayn and then he was gone out the door, leaving Liam and everything he had come to know in the past few months behind him.

What Liam didn’t hear were the uttered words as Zayn closed the door behind him.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me when I say this - I hate myself more than you hate me. Only the epilogue left!


	10. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

Zayn ran as fast as he could in the two foot deep drifts, wiping furiously at his constantly streaming eyes. He had barely made it just out of sight of the cabin when his foot got caught under a root and he collapsed, falling face-first onto the snow. He spluttered as he sat up, brushing the snow that clung to his face off. 

He wet his chapped lips with the tip of his tongue as he fell backwards, letting his body sink into the snow. He stared up at the sky, the light from the sun weak, but bright enough that he had to narrow his eyes against the rays. 

_He loves me._

Zayn had lied when he said that his family had been waiting for him. Everything up to the point where Zayn had told Liam that they had already arrived was true. 

_Liam’s in love with me._

Shocked beyond belief by Liam’s confession, Zayn did the only thing that he could possibly do – flee.

_Fuck._

- _A few days ago_ -

Zayn swung his legs over the side of the bed and padded over to Liam’s wardrobe, still nude from his and Liam’s activities, and quickly slipped on a heavy sweatshirt and jeans. 

He walked out the bedroom door, quietly closing it behind him. Sasha was sleeping on the couch, curled up in a ball. Zayn whistled and her ears perked up. She lifted her head up and when she saw Zayn, she got off the couch and stretched, her muzzle parting in a silent yawn. Zayn glanced at the clock hanging on the wall over the counter in the kitchen: 5:30 am.

The light of dawn was just coming in, but he knew that Liam would not be waking up anytime soon.

It had been quite some time since Liam had found Zayn and Liam had made it clear that he trusted Zayn 100 percent, but Zayn still wasn’t convinced that Liam would let him leave the cabin to go anywhere. It was absolutely infuriating, so he did what he thought was best - wear Liam out with several orgasms stretched out over hours until he fell asleep, God only knowing how long he would be out for.

Zayn ignored the ache in his bones and put on a heavy winter coat and gloves, whistling once more for Sasha to follow him. The click of her nails on the wooden floor signaled that she had come to him and he opened the front door, scrunching his nose as a chilly wind blew in. Lady Luck must have been with him because there was only a light snow falling from the sky and there was a promise of a thaw in the smell of the air. 

_Have I really been here that long?_ he questioned as he made his way into the woods.

If spring was already on its way, then he had been here for around half a year, if not more. Zayn’s heart seized in his chest as he thought, for what seemed like the hundredth time, how much his family was in agony over their assumed loss. _That’s what it makes it all the more important for me to do this. I have to tell them – I have to tell them I’m alive._

Zayn wasn’t sure which direction he was supposed to take; he had watched Liam take the route to the market a few times, but each time Liam was swallowed up by the white and Zayn could only guess.

_I’ll follow the sun._

After what seemed hours of trudging through the seemingly endless snow and a constant sense of dread that he was going the completely wrong way, he saw a glow in the distance. He squinted and put a hand up to act as a visor against the rising sun, hoping to catch a glimpse of what he was seeing.

His stomach did somersaults as he began walking, his pace speeding up the closer he got. 

“Thank God,” Zayn breathed as he finally made it to the clearing where a few small, rather run-down shops were lined up. It wasn’t much of a market - not like the ones that Zayn had been to - but it was almost like a blessing in disguise anyway, especially when he saw a payphone out of the corner of his eye.

He raced towards it, Sasha on his heels, and he shut himself and Sasha in it. He swallowed hard, his mind going at a hundred miles an hour as he picked up the phone and punched in his mum’s cell number.

_Wait._

He hung up at the sound of the first ring. 

It had come to his attention that he had no fucking clue where he was and he was certain that his family wouldn’t be able to pinpoint his exact location. He stepped out of the payphone box and looked around. The entire market was a ghost town; there weren’t even any fresh footprints in the snow. He walked towards the store closest to him and he pushed open the door, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the sudden darkness. 

“How can I help you?”

Zayn flinched as a voice from his right seemed to come out nowhere until a man, most likely in his mid-fifties, appeared out of the shadows. Zayn couldn’t help but stare – he had seen no other human besides Liam in months.

“You alright there, son?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I- sorry.” Zayn glanced away, flushing. “I haven’t seen another human being in a while.”

To Zayn’s bewilderment, the man sighed knowingly. “Can’t say I’m all that surprised.” Sasha gave a small bark in greeting and the man’s eyes flicked down. “I see you have a companion, at least.”

Zayn nodded in agreement, glancing down at the golden retriever, until he felt the man’s eyes burning into his skin.

“So, what can I do for you?” the man asked again, walking with a slight limp to one of the stools that were in front of the bar. He sat down and motioned for Zayn to take a seat by him. Zayn hesitated – the man was a bit odd and had a piercing gaze that made Zayn want to squirm. After a moment he joined him, angling his body away, in case something happened that required Zayn to get away quickly.

“I’m not going to hurt you, ya know,” the man said, startling Zayn. “I may be old and a bit homely, but I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” His words were sincere and Zayn swivelled so that he was facing the man, who had a smirk on his face that made him look ten years younger.

“I need to know what this place is.” He wanted to get right to the point as the sun was well above the horizon and he knew that it was only a matter of time before Liam would be waking up. “I know that we’re somewhere in the north of England, but other than that- I have no idea.”

The man pursed his lips as he studied Zayn. Zayn flushed, self-conscious from the man’s prying eyes, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Are you familiar with the county of Lancashire?” the man asked and Zayn nodded as he recalled his geography class back in secondary school. “That’s where we are. We’re more in the northwest than the north, but still north enough to see these nasty, frigid temperatures for five months at a time or more.” Zayn’s eyes widened as he realised just how close they were to his own home. West Yorkshire was little more than an hour and a half away by car, and Bradford was only a few minutes more. But-

It wasn’t enough information. “Right, but I need to know if this place has an actual name.”

The man put a finger to his chin and tilted his head to the side as if in thought. “I guess you could say that we’re near Green Hill, though I wouldn’t say that we’re in it, though.”

_That’ll have to be good enough._

“Thank you for your help.” Zayn stood up, gesturing for Sasha to follow him out the door. 

“Don’t you want to stay for a cup of coffee or summat?” he heard from behind him and he turned to see the man holding out a steaming mug. _Where did that even come from?_

Zayn nodded and took it from the man, his cold hands instantly warming under the mug’s hot surface. He raised it to his lips, but peered into it before taking a sip. It was delicious.

Zayn hadn’t noticed the man watching him with an amused expression. “You’re a very cautious fella, aren’t you?”

Zayn shrugged his shoulders – he had never really thought of that. “I guess so.” And then suddenly he was telling the man – what was his _name_? – about his past and what had happened up to the present. The man listened intently, nodding and “ahhing” at the appropriate times.

“So, this Liam guy,” the man said slowly after Zayn had finished, “do you love him?”

Zayn’s grip on his mug of coffee loosened and it shattered on the floor. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he stuttered, dropping to the floor and brushing the pieces into a pile. He hissed in pain as one of the shards got stuck in his palm. The man materialised with a broom and dustpan, and he shooed Zayn away. Zayn sat back down on his stool, guilt gnawing away at his insides.

Zayn watched, his hand still throbbing, as the man swept the remains of Zayn’s mug into the dustpan and disappeared into the back, presumably to dump the ceramic. He reappeared with a plaster, some kind of disinfectant ointment, and a pair of tweezers, and he silently passed them over to Zayn. Zayn gratefully took them and worked on his wound, wincing as he grabbed the piece that was stuck in his hand and pulled it out. 

“You do love him, don’t you?” The man had remained silent throughout Zayn’s accident, so when he suddenly spoke, Zayn jumped in his seat. 

“Jesus, you scared me,” Zayn said breathlessly, putting his uninjured hand to his chest. The man chuckled and Zayn couldn’t help but laugh along. It was strange – at first, Zayn had been hesitant to even be in the same room as this man, and now it was almost as if he had known him for years. 

The man waited expectantly for Zayn’s answer and Zayn sighed. “Yes, I do. I realised it almost as soon as I laid eyes on him for the first time. Even then, I had felt safe with him.” Zayn snorted, disgusted at how easily the words were slipping out. “I never believed in love at first sight, but… there’s nothing else that can explain how I felt when I first saw him.” 

He glanced out the window and his heart lurched when he saw how high the sun had gotten since he had gotten to the store. “Shit, I have to go. He’s bound to be up any minute and I have a few miles to walk.” 

Zayn got up from his seat and walked to the man, sticking out his hand for him to shake. Zayn’s breath caught in his throat when the man’s hand touched his – it was ice cold, almost as if the man himself had been stuck outside all those months ago instead of Zayn. 

“It was nice talking to you," Zayn said and the man, who still remained unnamed, flashed a broke-toothed smile as Zayn let go of his hand.

“Thanks for everything.” Zayn nodded at him and turned around, heading for the door.

“Be wary of your actions in the near future, Zayn Malik.” 

Zayn whipped around, but the man had melted into the shadows once more, and Zayn was left alone. He shook his head, thinking that he must have just imagined the man saying those words, but they still stuck with him even as he made his way back to the payphone box. 

He slipped in a coin and dialled his mum’s cell number again, his heart pounding in his throat as she picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Mum?”

It was silent on the other end and Zayn gulped, thinking that she might have hung up. 

“Mum?” he tried again and he thought he heard a gasp.

Zayn felt tears well up in his eyes and he attempted to blink them away, but they kept coming anyway. “Mum, it’s me. Zayn.”

Tricia’s voice shook with her next few words and Zayn knew that she had started crying. “Zayn? Zayn. Zayn, Zayn. Oh, my sweet, baby boy. You’re alive. My son is alive.” 

“Y-yeah, I’m alive. I’m alive and well. I’m so sorry for worrying you for so long,” Zayn said, barely able to talk as his throat closed up with the sobs forcing themselves up from his chest. “I’m so sorry, Mummy. I’m so sorry.”

His legs couldn’t hold him up anymore and he slid down until he hit the ground, clutching the phone for dear life as he pressed his free hand against his eyes. 

“My poor baby, don’t be so sad. You’re okay, we’re okay. Everything will be okay now.” Tricia was trying to comfort him as much as herself and normally he would groan at it, but for now he relished it, as if he were a child once more. For so long, he thought he would never hear her voice again.

“Mum, I have so much to tell you,” Zayn started, swallowing down the tears that were threatening again. He sniffed heavily and waited for Tricia’s response.

“Yes, I’m listening. I want to hear everything.”

And so Zayn began.

Once he had finished, his eyes were dry and his mum’s voice was coming in steadily. It was truly a miracle that the payphone had let him talk for so long without going out, but Zayn had an inkling that the old man in the shop had something to do with it. 

“So, for the past seven or so months you’ve been living in a cabin with Liam?” his mum asked. Zayn uttered a “yes” and stroked Sasha’s head, thankful for her presence. Zayn had pushed the door open for Sasha to come in halfway through his account when she had begun whining.

Zayn’s heart ached. “Mum, I miss you so much.”

Tricia’s answer was watery and Zayn could almost hear her sad smile through the phone. “I miss you, too.”

Zayn took in a deep breath and then he was blurting out, “Can you come and get me tomorrow? I have no idea how to get out of this place and I haven’t seen you or dad or my sisters in ages and-”

_Be wary of your actions in the near future, Zayn Malik._

_Liam would be devastated if I were to leave so suddenly,_ Zayn thought, his spirits plummeting. _There are some things we need to talk out, anyways._

“Honey?” Tricia’s voice snapped Zayn out of his daze. “Are you alright? You didn’t speak for a few moments there; I was worried that the line had finally cut off.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Zayn pressed his lips together, tears once again pricking the corners of his eyes. “I think that we’re going to have to postpone you coming here for a little while.”

“Is it because of Liam?” Tricia’s tone held no note of accusation and Zayn was eternally grateful for it.

“Yes. I-I think that I should stay here for a little while, or at least until I tell him that you guys are coming and how… I feel about him.”

“Zayn, no matter how much we miss you and want to see you, it is completely up to you for what you want to do. I will support you no matter what you do.” 

“Thank you so much. I love you.”

“Love you too, Zayn. I’ll see you soon.”

Zayn hung up the phone and put his head in his hands.

- _Present day_ -

_Be wary of your actions in the near future, Zayn Malik._

Those words were once again running through Zayn’s head as he sat there in the cold, wet snow, loathing himself more and more for what he had done to Liam with every passing minutes. Would Liam welcome him back with open arms if he returned? What would happen then? Would Zayn’s future be laid out in front of him as they declare their undying love for each other?

Zayn wasn’t sure if he even wanted that. 

But what he _did_ want was Liam – if not for the future, maybe just for the present.

He heaved himself up from the snow and brushed off the excess before taking off at a run back towards Liam’s cabin. He came upon the door within moments and he flung it open. Liam was still standing exactly where Zayn had last seen him, right in front of the window, and he could see the tear tracks running down Liam’s cheeks – tears that Zayn had caused.

“Zayn?” Liam croaked, his voice hoarse. “I thought you were-“

“I lied,” Zayn said firmly. Liam snapped his mouth shut, eyes wide and shining. 

“It’s true that I had gone to the market when you were sleeping and called my family, but I had never set up a time for them to come get me.” Zayn began, walking slowly towards Liam. Liam stood his ground, his gaze wavering as he looked anywhere but Zayn’s face. 

“I was told by a man, who I now think wasn’t even actually there, that I should be wary of my actions in the near future.” Liam crossed his arms and stared at the floor, though Zayn knew he was listening. “I told my mum that I wanted to see her as soon as possible and I had initially set a date, but then it dawned on me that there was something I had to do before I was ready to go home.” 

Zayn crossed the room in two strides and cupped Liam’s jaw, noting with relief that Liam didn’t flinch. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.”

Liam’s face remained stoic and Zayn waited, and waited, and waited.

“Okay,” Liam finally said.

Then he kissed him.

- _Three years later_ -

A blood-curdling scream echoed through the hospital and Liam was sure that every patient in it could hear it.

“Come on, Waliyha, you can do it!” Zayn urged his sister on, brushing her hair back from her sweat-slicked forehead. Liam was holding her hand and he thought for sure that she was going to crush it with how hard she was squeezing it; Zayn was on Liam’s other side, holding her other hand.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole!” she barked, her abdomen spasming with another contraction. “How about you try and have a fucking alien parasite tear out your insides?” She threw her head back and let out another shriek, though this time it was less vocal as she began to tire.

“You’re almost fully dilated,” the doctor said after checking her once more. “Only a few more minutes and then you can start pushing.”

Waliyha glared at him with wild eyes. “Are you fucking serious? I still have to _push_? Oh, Allah, come save me from this hell!” Liam patted her hand reassuringly, though he knew it did nothing to ease her pain.

“Alright, you’re ready to go! On the count of three – One, two, three, push!” 

Waliyha let out the loudest screech thus far and Liam’s ears rang.

“One, two, three, push!” 

Liam’s fingers cracked and he knew that Zayn wasn’t any better off.

“Yes, that’s it! The baby’s head is crowning!” Waliyha squirmed and one of the nurses quickly moved to hold her down so she didn’t fall off the hospital bed.

Both Zayn and Liam’s mothers were on the other side of the room, tears streaming down their faces as they watched the birth of Liam and Zayn’s first child. Waliyha had agreed to be a surrogate for them and she had originally had been ecstatic about it (“Oh, I would love to see what it’s like to be pregnant! Liam’s also gorgeous as hell, so I mean…”), but from what Liam could tell, she was regretting everything she had agreed to.

“The shoulders are out! The worst is over.” The doctor’s soothing words seemed to have an effect on Waliyha as her body visibly relaxed, though she was still trembling. 

“One last push! One, two, three, push!” She gave one last heave with little more than a grunt.

After a moment of bated breath, the sound of a baby’s cry filled the room.

“It’s a girl!”

“You did it!” Liam couldn’t help but shout, dropping a kiss on the tip of Waliyha’s nose. Liam felt so close to bursting with pride and he beamed at Zayn, who was mirroring Liam’s own excitement.

“Who’s the lucky dad that gets to hold her first?” the doctor said, glancing from Liam to Zayn, holding the baby out for one of them to take. 

Liam nodded at Waliyha. “You should give her to Waliyha first. After all, she is the one that just went through ten hours of labour.”

The doctor chuckled and did as Liam suggested, laying the baby gently in Waliyha’s waiting arms. “She’s beautiful,” Zayn murmured, stroking the baby’s tuft of black hair she had on the top of her head. Liam moved in closer and looked into her eyes – Liam’s eyes.

“I have the perfect name for her,” Liam whispered, stroking the tip of his finger along the baby’s tiny palm. She caught hold of it and Liam’s heart swelled.

“Rashida.”

And they lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally, _finally_ finished. Holy shit. I hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll!! Here's a new story for ya to read. I haven't really planned out the rest of the story yet (word wise), but I can pretty much guarantee that it'll be at least 20k. This is a concept that I've been thinking about for a while so I decided to try it out! Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do.


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